


This Time Tomorrow

by AciidHeart, SmallAnxietic



Series: Reader Inserts [5]
Category: Game Grumps, The Northern Hues (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-04-06 20:57:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14065434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AciidHeart/pseuds/AciidHeart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallAnxietic/pseuds/SmallAnxietic
Summary: A late-night performance at a dingy bar draws you to the stars.





	1. Lead Me To Nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece that I immediately fell in love with as soon as it had properly formed in my head, and I'm excited to share it! I hope y'all enjoy!!!

_“To young hearts,_

_Keep beating._

_Keep breaking._

_Keep falling in love.”_

_The Last Time I’ll Write About You- Dawn Lanuza._

\--/--/--

You can't take your eyes off of the guy that's up on stage.  
  
Granted, there are five other guys playing with him, but it's the singer being bathed in a bright, washed out light casting harsh shadows across his face that really catches your attention. His voice is smooth and sweet, slipping in and around the guitarists' melodic riffs as he runs a hand through his hair and sways his hips in time to the beat. Your breath catches in your throat as he moves across the small stage, as he pours himself into the performance with a tangible passion that stirs... something inside you. You don’t notice that the song is already over until the singer actually speaks.  
  
"Thank you so much," he murmurs into the mic. "You guys have been an awesome audience. We're so glad to be here." He sounds sincere, touched, and you can tell that he's feeling this moment, feeling a weight in performing for a small audience in a dim and dingy bar as if he'd sold out Madison Square Garden. He's in his element. A few scattered cheers and whistles rise up from the audience, and the man grins. He tucks a long strand of curls behind his ear before turning to nod at the drummer.  
  
"You can check out our merch table after the show as well. We've got some demo CDs, some shirts, and some free pins," he says. "But before that, we've got a couple more songs for you tonight. This one's called Tightropes." As the intro starts up, you're enraptured by the way the singer instantly begins to sway along to the music, completely lost in his own world as his sweet voice wafts through the bar once more.

\--/--/--

After the band finishes its set, the singer leans into the mic with a breathless laugh and wide smile.

“You guys were amazing tonight! We’ll be hanging out at our merch table for a bit, so don’t hesitate to come say hi. We're The Northern Hues! Thank you, everyone!” The crowd cheers one last time as the lights dim and the band begins to disassemble their equipment. You clap as you watch the singer hop somewhere off stage, and as the patrons turn back to their drinks and conversations, you rise from your seat and make a beeline for the merch table. There’s a meager amount of merchandise scattered across it; two or three different shirt designs, a sweatshirt, copies of the demo CD, and the free pins. A couple of people mill about and pick up a pin as the woman running the table points out prices. You fish for your wallet and pick up a CD.

“Can I get one of the black shirts, please?” you ask once the woman’s attention is free again. She nods with a smile and reaches underneath the table once you give her your size. When she hands you a shirt, you take a moment to smooth out any wrinkles before carefully folding it over your arm. You nod your thanks and shift away from the table as a few more patrons wander up themselves. You absently notice that few of them do little else besides take a pin before making their way back to their seats. Before long, the next band is preparing their equipment on stage, and your heart begins to thud in your chest as you notice a group of young men making their way towards the merch table. You immediately recognize them as the band that had just finished performing- The Northern Hues. You’ve already got the singer’s face burned into your mind: A sharp, smooth jaw, long and dark curls sweeping across his cheeks and partially covering soft and kind eyes. As they near the table, you realize that the singer is taller than you thought he was while he was on stage. A few of the patrons who had begun hovering around the merch table look nervous as they attempt to catch the attention of the band members. A few giggly women tap the guitarists on their shoulders, and they turn to the women with smiles on their faces. You attempt to clear your throat as they pass by you, and you freeze as the singer throws a glance in your direction at the sound. He stops in his tracks, and you feel your face heat up as he turns to fully face you with a small smile.

“Hey,” he greets. He glances down and notices the shirt draped over your arm, and when he looks back up at you his smile has widened. “I take it you liked our performance?”

“Y-yeah, definitely,” you manage. “You guys had me interested right from the beginning.” The singer chuckles a bit as he runs a hand through his hair, and you notice his eyes making a slow journey up and down your body. You suddenly feel very exposed.

“That's good to hear. We’ve never played here before, and all of us were pretty nervous,” he replies.

“Well, I think you guys did great,” you reassure the singer. You hold up and wave your CD. “Great enough for me to want to get my hands on one of these, for sure.” You break eye contact as you clear your throat again, and the singer beams.

“Thank you so much, man. It really means a lot.”

“Would it be weird to ask for you to sign this for me?” The singer's face immediately flushes, and he breaks eye contact to clear his throat.

“If you want, then of course,” he eventually stammers. You hand him the CD and a Sharpie from your pocket. He laughs nervously. “I’ve… I've never had someone ask me to sign something before.”

"Consider me the first of many, then. I’m sure it's going to be extremely valuable someday.” At this, it’s the singer’s turn to appear flustered, and he signs it with a flourish. He hesitates for a moment before turning away from you to get the attention of his bandmates, all of whom turn out to be entertaining at least one other person each. He turns back to you and shrugs.

“Are you okay with just my signature?” He asks softly. You take the CD back with a grin, turning it over in your hands.

“More than okay,” you reply. You return your gaze to the singer as you allow your eyes to roam over his slim figure. _He looks even prettier up close,_ you think to yourself. The dim lights of the bar overhead accentuate his cheekbones in a way that makes him look almost ethereal, like a being that came from somewhere in your dreams. You hold out your hand.

“I’m (Y/N), by the way,” you say. The singer takes your hand with a smile and gives it a firm shake.

“I’m Dan.” You take note of the roughness of Dan’s hand against yours, how long and slender his fingers are. There’s a quiet moment as you part and seem to stare at each other, and you see _something_ stirring in his dark eyes.

“I… I loved watching you up on stage,” you eventually breathe. “I could feel how much you were enjoying yourself.” In a moment of reckless abandon, you take a step toward him to put your hand on his arm, smiling a bit as you watch his face flush. “You looked so pretty up there while you were singing.” Dan shuffles a bit as you gaze at each other, and his next exhale is a little shaky.

“Yeah? You think so?” he murmurs.

“I definitely think so.” Your hand travels up to linger momentarily on his chest before you pull back again. “I’m pretty sure I could listen to you sing all night.” Dan glances around the two of you as the atmosphere begins to shift. You don't know what it is about Dan that's stirring something more bold from you, but you almost can't help it; he’d immediately piqued your interest, and it had only intensified as you watched him sway across the stage in time with the energy of the music. You can’t help but want to drink more of him in. Dan abruptly reaches forward to take your hand and lace your fingers together, and he motions for you to follow him with a blush.

“Did you… want to go somewhere else for a little bit?” he asks quietly, and you can do nothing but nod, voice caught in your throat. He squeezes your hand as he turns and begins making his way towards what you discover to be an exit, and you briefly wonder if Dan’s bandmates would care that he's leaving right now. You cut your thoughts short as he opens the door and leads you outside into a closed off area at the back of the bar, and you feel the chilly evening breeze bite at your cheeks and nose. Before he has a chance to do anything else, you take this time to untangle your fingers and place your shirt and CD onto a pile of boxes next to the door. You immediately grab Dan by the waist and press him gently against the wall. As he gasps at the feeling of the cold bricks pressing against his back, you lean forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss. His surprise gives way to another quiet gasp as one of your hands drags up his torso and settles at the nape of his neck, and he begins to kiss back.

The slide of his lips against your own is immediately intoxicating, something that you wouldn't mind drowning in for the rest of the night as you take his bottom lip between your teeth and gently tug it. Your head is spinning as he groans softly against your mouth and wraps his arms around your shoulders, attempting to draw you closer. You press Dan harder into the wall as you tug at his hair, and he lets out a low whine. When you part for air, you immediately shift your focus to kissing along the side of his neck and across his collarbone. Dan’s hands attempt to find purchase as his nails scratch lightly at your back, and you roll your hips against his with a soft hum. You begin to nip at his neck, and he quickly becomes a squirming, panting mess as he rocks his hips back into yours. Both of your hands wander and roam, touching, stroking, grasping at anything they can find as you kiss Dan again, rougher this time. Sucking on his lower lip as your hands travel under his shirt to tweak his nipples draws out a loud and shaky moan that lights a fire just underneath your skin.

“I don't... usually do this sort of thing,” Dan gasps into your mouth after a few moments. “Kind of caught me by surprise.”

“I don't either,” you murmur in response. “I just couldn't help myself. You…” You reluctantly pull away and bite your lip, casting your eyes to the ground. It’s quiet for a moment as you both take the time to catch your breath. “You have to go back in and leave with your bandmates, though. I shouldn't keep you any longer.” Dan frowns.

“They can wait a little while,” he huffs. Your hands lower from under Dan’s shirt and settle around his hips as you lean in to press a soft kiss to his neck.

“I think they've _been_ waiting for a little while already. I like you, Dan. You seem interesting, and you're certainly pretty to look at,” you say, smiling. “Can I give you my phone number, at least?”

“Oh yeah, of course! I like you too, (Y/N). I would love to get to know you.” Dan fishes for his cell phone for a moment, and you exchange phones to add each other as contacts. The second you have your phones back in your respective pockets (albeit with some difficulty, considering your pockets are only so big), your hands find their way into Dan’s hair as you kiss him again, slow and deep. He sighs as his arms rest on your shoulders, but before he can deepen it, you pull away.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” you say. “But we have to go. I’m pretty sure you’ve got places to be.” Dan groans and leans back against the wall with a frown.

“Okay, okay, you’re right.” He grabs your shirt and CD from the stack of boxes next to you and piles them into your arms. “Let’s go, then.”

\--/--/--

Dan’s smile is soft and dreamy as he waves goodbye before he turns to wander back over to his bandmates, who have all but wrapped up their conversations with all of the patrons that had stuck around to meet them. You shake your head as you wave in response, and you feel light on your feet as you finally leave the bar.

You don't hesitate in putting the CD into your radio as soon as you get home, letting it play throughout the night as you drift to sleep.


	2. Waste Away With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates don't usually go like this, do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yeah, so I updated the number of chapters this is going to have to 4 because just this second chapter ran away from me and decided to add more plot to this whole jumbled mess instead of finding a good place to come to the ending I have partially written out. Depending on how this goes, I might even increase the number of chapters from 4! Who knows? Certainly not me!

_“I love the way you look_

_Your eyes, they twinkle_

_Your lips, they curl_

_Your whole spirit lifts._

 

_I love the way you look_

_As I watch you across the room_

_That is until you looked at me_

_And nothing else could compare.”_

_The Last Time I’ll Write About You- Dawn Lanuza._

\--/--/--

You’re woken up the next day to the sound of your phone vibrating from your nightstand. You’re too groggy to check the time on your alarm clock before you grab the phone and hit the answer button, bringing it up to your ear with a yawn. “Hello?”

“Hey, (Y/N)? It’s… it’s Dan. Are you busy today? We’re not practicing, and I want to take you out.” It takes a moment for you to process the fact that it’s Dan, but once you do, you attempt to shimmy into a position that’s more akin to sitting up. Your heart starts beating a bit faster as the events from the night before begin racing through your mind. You’d been fully prepared to accept the fact that you might have been a little buzzed, that it hadn't really happened, but hearing Dan’s voice on the other end of the line solidifies it, eases your worries.

“You actually just woke me up, dude,” you manage to reply, running a hand through your hair. “I haven’t even checked to see what time it is.” Dan huffs out a laugh, and it’s the sweetest thing you've ever heard. You're grateful for the fact that he can’t see the dopey smile that immediately adorns your reddening face.

“It’s like noon, but it’s alright because it’s Saturday. Just in time for lunch, though,” he points out. You rub the sleep from your eyes and move to fully sit up.

“I guess rocking to your performance last night really helped me knock out. Give me a chance to brush my teeth, at least? A man can only move so fast.” Dan laughs again, a bit louder this time, and your heart flutters in your chest.

“Okay, okay, I’ll lay off a bit. Does that mean you want to meet up, then?”

“Yeah, definitely! Give me like fifteen minutes to get ready. Where do you want to go?”

“I’m… not sure, actually. You in the mood for anything specific?” You hum a bit in thought as you throw your covers off and stretch.

“I could go for some burgers, now that you ask,” you reply.

“I know a pretty good joint near my place that we can go to. They’ve got some kick-ass burgers,” Dan says. “Want me to pick you up, or should we meet there?” You flick the lights on to your bathroom as you rub the sleep from your eyes.

“I’d like to be picked up, if you don't mind,” you say. “Let me give you my address, then.”

“Cool! I'll text you when I'm on my way.”

\--/--/--

You fidget with the collar of your button-up as you finish inspecting yourself in the mirror. Your hair looks fine, right? And you made sure that your jeans didn’t have any stains on them, since you still needed to do laundry and had run out of clean pants a couple of days ago. A quick self-inspection confirms that you didn’t forget to put on deodorant and some cologne, but your nerves refuse to settle. Dan had texted you around ten minutes ago to let you know that he was on his way, and you’re trying not to panic as you wait for him to arrive. The whole situation is so strange to you; meeting the singer of a random band that you heard at a bar last night, sticking your tongue down his throat, and going on a lunch date the day after? You never would’ve thought that something like this would ever happen to you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and your breath catches in your throat. A quick pat down of your pockets to make sure you have your wallet and keys, and you’re rushing to answer the door.

Dan looks up from the ground and smiles softly at you as soon as you open the door. You’re taken slightly aback by the fact that he’s just as casually dressed as he was the night before; a Rush tee shirt and torn jeans, but this time his long and wild curls are tied into a loose ponytail. He shuffles a bit, clearing his throat with a small smile.

“Hey.” You struggle to tear your gaze away from the loose curls that are sweeping across his cheekbones in a way that brings your nervousness back full-force. Your face flushes.

“Hey,” you reply. “Am I overdressed?” You try to joke, and Dan’s face twists into something akin to embarrassment.

“No, not at all!” He rushes out. “You… you look nice. I feel kind of _under_ dressed now.”

“You look nice as well, dude. So, I hear there’s a good burger joint somewhere around town?” You step out of the door and lock it behind you as Dan fishes his own keys from his pocket, managing to only fumble with them a small amount. You feel a strange fluttering in your chest at the thought that _he’s_ nervous about going on a date with _you_ , of all people. It’s… really fucking cute, actually.

“Yeah, the food’s great. You’ve never been there before?” You shrug as the two of you begin to make your way down your steps to Dan’s car.

“I don’t usually spend a lot of time in that area, so no,” You reply. “These burgers of theirs better be as good as you’re hyping them up to be, otherwise I’m picking the joint next time we go out.” And you promptly clamp your mouth shut as soon as you realize your mistake. _Fucking shit!_ You only glance at the exterior of Dan’s beat up van as he hastily unlocks it and climbs into the driver’s seat, and you’re fiddling with your seat belt as Dan turns on his radio. You sit in silence for a few moments as The Offspring begins to blare through the speakers and take in anything else besides Dan, for fear of what he might be thinking. You notice immediately that the whole van stinks of weed, poorly masked by an air freshener hanging from his mirror. There are food wrappers and scraps of notebook paper littered across the floor, and you gently nudge a few sheets to the side as you buckle your seat belt.

“So, you’re that confident in yourself, huh?” Dan eventually says, and when you look over, you see that his eyes are full of mirth. “Who says I’m going to _let_ you pick the place next time?” Your chest immediately loosens up again as you release a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding with a laugh.

“Something just tells me that you’re waiting for me to blow your fucking mind,” you reply with a grin. “Do you like sushi?” Dan offers a smile of his own as he lowers the radio somewhat and moves to pull out of your driveway.

“Hell yeah, I love sushi. And you don’t have to blow me to find that out.” Now it’s Dan’s turn to look embarrassed and ashamed as his entire face heats up the moment the words leave his mouth, and he focuses on the road in front of him. You can’t hold in your laughter at the slip up, and your nerves are settling again.

“Dude, I am _not_ blowing you in this nasty ass car when we just pulled out of my driveway,” you tease, and Dan laughs as well, loud and unbridled. Your smile goes a little lopsided and dopey at the sound, but if Dan notices, he doesn’t say anything.

\--/--/--

The burgers _are_ as good as Dan made them out to be.

“What do you mean, you wrestled a fucking alligator? That’s not something that people just do!” You exclaim with a laugh. Dan waves a fry at you as he struggles to stop laughing himself, ducking his head towards the table as his shoulders shake.

“No, listen, man! I _know_ it’s not something that people just do! You smelled my car, right? I was high as _shit_ when I did it, otherwise I would’ve pissed myself from being so scared,” he cackles. You can’t help but be bewildered at the mental image of Dan sitting on top of a fucking  _alligator,_  of all things. You shake your head as you take a sip of your drink.

“Color me impressed, then,” you say. “Is that how you impress other guys in order to get them to suck your dick in that stank ass van of yours?” Dan almost chokes on his fry as he begins laughing again, cheeks flushing.

“Come on, my car isn’t _that_ bad!” He whines, crossing his arms. “And _no,_  I don’t use it to impress guys.” He looks a little more embarrassed than you would’ve expected for some reason, but you decide not to push it.

“Could’ve fooled me,” you grin. “Because _I’m_ certainly impressed.” Your food is nearly gone, but Dan’s still got around half of his plate to finish off. _Must be a slow eater_.

“Impressed enough to do sexy things in my ‘stank ass van’?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows. You toss him a wink as you get up to throw your garbage away.

“I’m not sure,” you say. “I haven’t decided yet.” Dan’s face gets a bit darker as he stands up to ask for a take-out box, and you laugh quietly to yourself. You’re finding that it’s easy to make Dan flustered, and the expressions that he makes when he’s embarrassed are quite honestly fucking adorable, so you’re more than happy to continue with pushing his buttons as long as he’s not _too_ uncomfortable. When you and Dan climb back into his car, Dan fishes for something in the backseat before pulling out a handful of CDs, fanning them out to show to you.

“Anything catch your fancy?” He asks. You glance over them and grin.

“Fuck yeah, pop in that Stone Temple Pilots disk! You’ve got some good taste in music,” you say, and Dan beams.

“Awesome.” Once he pops the disk in, you watch as he puts the case along with the other CDs back into the back seat, and you’re taken aback by how amazing he looks; his ponytail had come loose throughout the meal, so he’d abandoned the hair tie altogether, and now you get to fully appreciate the curls twisting around his neck and tapering off a little past the shoulders. _Jesus,_ _his hair is long,_ you realize.  Dan looks back and catches you staring, and _oh,_ his smile looks downright sinful.

“Like what you see?” He purrs, and you know he’s playing it up a little to provoke you, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying the slip of rasp in his voice, and the way his eyes seem darker, as if they were actively trying to seduce you.

“Hell yeah,” you eventually manage. Dan’s cheeks darken slightly in a blush, but he doesn’t falter. “How fast can we get back to my place?”

“Fifteen minutes at the most,” is Dan’s reply, and you hurriedly begin to fasten your seat belt.

“I hope I’m not being a sleaze by assuming that you want to fool around at least a little bit now, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t _really_ want to pick up where we left off last night," you say, and Dan’s starting the car as fast as possible.

“Congrats to us for getting through that date, then, because I felt bad for thinking the same thing,” he laughs. “I'm having a great fucking time, (Y/N).” You grin as Dan pulls out of the parking lot and begins making his way back to your house.

“I am too, Dan. Since we were both being sleazes and thinking the same thing, though, I have to ask up front,” you begin, and Dan glances at you inquisitively before making a turn.

“What’s up?”

“So we’re pretty much on the same page for fooling around back at my house, but is this… is this going to be a casual thing? Like…” You bite your lip as you try to find the words. Fuck. You hadn’t thought anything through before you decided to start talking. “I meant it when I said I liked you, so I can suck your dick if you want, but I also _really_ want to take you out on that sushi date sometime.” Dan glances at you from the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t respond right away. You immediately begin to feel knots form at the pit of your stomach, and you wonder if you’d said something wrong. He stays quiet as he pulls into your driveway, and as soon as the car is shut off he turns to face you. You’re trying not to visibly panic as you wait for him to speak.

“(Y/N)...” He clears his throat as he trails off, and you feel the knots in your stomach turn into an intense chill that threatens to make you nauseous.

“Yes, that is my name,” you slowly respond. Dan chuckles a bit, and you finally notice that he doesn’t look upset; his eyebrows are drawn down and his lips are pursed, but he appears to be deep in thought more than anything else.

“You look like you’re just about ready to blow chunks all over the floor of my car, so I’m gonna say outright that I’m not rejecting you,” he eventually says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. “I just need to finish collecting my thoughts so I don’t accidentally fuck up the rest of what I want to say, so is it okay if we finish this conversation inside your humble abode?” he asks. You nod, and the two of you scramble out of the car. You try not to fumble with your keys before unlocking your door and stepping inside, scanning across the living room as quickly as possible to make sure that it isn’t a complete pigsty. Dan steps carefully into your house behind you, and seemingly out of instinct automatically goes to take off his shoes and leave them by the door. You smile a bit to yourself as you put your wallet and keys away, peeking out of the corner of your eye as Dan wanders to the living room and sits gingerly at your couch, looking around at the sparse amount of decorations and paintings you have hung up. You suddenly feel very self conscious.

“Do you want anything to drink?” You ask, and Dan’s pulling his cell phone out of his pocket to put on the coffee table when he looks up at you. He shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m fine,” is the quiet reply. He runs a hand through his curls, tugging lightly at the roots and closing his eyes as he takes a deep breath. You pad back into the living room and sit down next to him on the couch, turning so that you’re facing one another.

“Okay,” you say slowly, “have you finished gathering your thoughts?” Dan smiles and nods.

“Yeah. Thanks for… giving me that time,” he murmurs. “I was afraid you would get mad or something.”

“Hardly,” you snort. “Every time I joke about sucking your dick, I get five percent more serious. I don’t think getting a little irritated would kill the mood that easily.” This draws a quiet, albeit genuine laugh from Dan, and you relax into the cushions. This easy communication, this playful banter… it’s already starting to feel familiar. You’re not quite as nervous as you were in the car, and for that you’re grateful. It wouldn’t do to have a panic attack right before hooking up with a ridiculously attractive man like Dan.

“Okay, so.” Dan folds his hands in his lap and takes another steadying breath. “I really do like you, (Y/N). I meant it when I said that I wasn’t rejecting you. And I am _totally_ okay with trying out some sexy stuff with you today, since I’ve honestly been thinking about you fucking me into a mattress since the date started.” You almost choke on your own fucking spit at that, and Dan laughs nervously.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“Sorry, was that too forward?”

“Maybe just a little.” You stifle a giggle. “But go on.”

“I guess the biggest thing I wanted to talk about was the fact that, like… I don’t think it would be quite right to say that I was _lying_ to you, but I _think_ I’m getting the impression that you sort of assumed I was just straight up gay.” Dan’s looking incredibly nervous now, wringing his hands together and attempting to get the words out in a way that maintains coherence. You attempt to keep your expression neutral, for the sake of trying not to make him more skittish.

“Well, with the way you’re saying that, and the fact that you brought it up at all, I’m assuming you wanted to tell me that that wasn’t quite right,” you reply, and Dan nods, starting to look relieved.

“Yeah, that’s exactly it. So I guess this is me, like… coming out to you? In some sort of weird way?”

“In what sense?”

“In the sense that I had previously assumed I was 100% straight for most of my life, except there was this one really hot fucking dude that stuck his tongue down my throat last night after my band’s performance and really put the fucking nail in the coffin of me spending the last two years thinking that I might actually be closer to 50% straight.” Your eyebrows shoot up into your hairline, and you attempt to give Dan a closer look, as if his body language and expression would give you insight into exactly what he’s thinking right now. All you can really gather is the fact that he looks equal parts petrified and determined, determined to get this all out into the open between you and him. Even if it feels like it’s mostly for him to get it out into the open for himself.

“So, to make a long story short, I _am_ into dudes, and I _do_ want to do sexy stuff with and also try to date you, but, uh… you’re also the first guy to stick his tongue down my throat and by extension the first guy that I’ve ever actually done anything with.” Your head is reeling as you process the information, but you attempt to gather your thoughts as quickly as possible to avoid leaving Dan waiting on a response for too long.

“Pretty bold of you to straight up tell me you wanted me to fuck you into a mattress for someone who _just_ confirmed to _himself_ that he was bi,” you joke, and Dan laughs, visibly relaxing. “Thanks for telling me though, dude. Good to know that this is cool enough for us to want to be honest with each other from the get-go.”

“Yeah, I feel you. On that same vein, then, I might also be a little high right now,” Dan says, and you stare at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, wheezing in your attempt to stifle it. Dan begins laughing with you, and the atmosphere is light and comfortable again.

“Since you _did_ just figure out you’re bi, then, are you _sure_ you want to jump straight from a tongue down your throat to a literal dick in your ass?” Dan can’t help but giggle again, but for whatever reason he tries to hide this one behind his hand, and good _lord_ this man had no excuse for being this fucking hot and this fucking _adorable_ at the same time. He shrugs, but you can tell that some of the nervousness has returned.

“I mean, yeah? I think?” He’s starting to look confused now, but you shake your head, raising a hand.

“Okay, yeah, no. How about this: We fool around like we said we already wanted to do, and if it escalates to you genuinely wanting my fucking dick up your ass, then we can go for it. Sound good?” Dan considers your statement for a moment, then offers you a lopsided smile as he nods.

“Alright, yeah, that sounds good. Was I being too eager?”

“I mean, I’m not gonna lie and say that the idea isn’t _incredibly_ appealing,” you muse, “but I’m also not gonna be That One Asshole that tries to force you into something that you might not actually be ready for.” Dan laughs again, but with that, the mood begins to shift, and his gaze flicks down to your lips, which you take immediate notice of. You grin.

“Ready for me to rock your fuckin’ world, dude?” You ask, and Dan looks like the breath is being knocked out of him now. He nods, once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill, yo. You can find me on Tumblr at aciid--heart, and I'm still cool with drabble prompts! Depending on how busy I am tomorrow, I may actually get the next chapter up by the end of tomorrow! I'm so inconsistent with writing multi-chapter stories and actually finishing them I'm determined to get to the end of this one if it kills me


	3. Crystal Clear, See The World Arise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm REALLY not sure how many chapters this is going to be, but we might be approaching... something soon. I'm not entirely sure yet, but I have ideas swimming around in this noggin of mine.

_“Sweet honey tears_ _  
_ _You make me cry_   
_In all the nicest ways”_

\--/--/--

He nods, once.

You immediately surge forward to pull Dan into a rough kiss. He gasps quietly into your mouth, and you waste no time in pulling him into your lap, pressing hard into the small of his back so he’s flush against your chest.

“ _Oh_ ,” Dan breathes, and you smile against his lips.

“Sounds like someone likes being handled a bit rough,” You murmur, and you begin sucking on Dan’s collarbone like there’s no tomorrow. You _do_ have the mind to make sure the resulting hickey will be low enough for him to be able to hide it underneath his shirt, but the idle thought vanishes quickly when Dan keens low in his throat, hips shifting forward and leaving him panting as he pulls away to catch his breath.

“Oh fuck, okay, that felt good,” He says, eyes wide, and you chuckle.

“Really, now? And you needed to stop to tell me that, even after last night?” Dan swats at your arm, laughing.

“Fuck off, dude. Let me have this.” He pauses for a moment. “But also please let me have your hands back to hopefully leaving bruises on my hips and maybe pinning me to this couch of yours.”

“Someone’s definitely got an idea as to where they want this to go,” you chuckle, and before Dan can make any other smartass remarks, you comply with his request by grasping tightly at his hips and pushing him down onto the couch. You waste no time in tugging at Dan’s shirt until he gets the hint and raises his arms, and you pull it off as quickly as possible.

“Enjoying the view?” Dan giggles, but it’s cut off by a soft moan as you lean back down to take one of his nipples into your mouth. He bucks up into the touch, whining softly as you pinch and roll the other between your fingers. Your head is spinning, drinking in the music that’s falling from Dan’s lips as he grasps at your shoulders, pulling you back up for another kiss. Things slow down, though, become less feverish. Dan sighs contentedly into your mouth, and it’s the most calming thing you’ve ever heard. The heat lingers, dances underneath your fingertips as your hand cards through his hair and tugs lightly, and Dan hums as his arms settle over your shoulders. Even just this, the sliding of your lips together, the softest touch of skin, feels like a wash of harmony, disjointed parts of a song starting to weave together like nothing else in the world mattered more than its completeness. You internally punch yourself for waxing poetic in what is probably one of the _douchiest_ ways possible, but Dan’s warm hands sliding under your shirt- aiming to do nothing more than touch, explore, feel, be _close-_ brings you back to him.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Dan murmurs, breaking the quiet as you finally part for air. It feels like you’ve been kissing for hours, the heat from earlier nothing more than a tingling warmth that has settled into you and set the world at ease. He’s staring up at you with a soft smile, and you can’t help but smile back.

“Yeah, Dan?”

“This is... nice. Just kissing you, I mean. I could do it all day.”

“I could, too.” And it’s the most genuine thing you’ve ever said. You yawn suddenly, turning your head to the side to avoid yawning directly into Dan’s face. “Jesus, I think I could go for a nap right about now.”

“That does sound really nice,” Dan mumbles, and he removes his hands from under your shirt. “Would it be weird to ask if you wanted to take a nap together?”

“Not at all, actually.” You rise from the couch and offer a hand as Dan gets up as well, and you lace your fingers together. His hands are rough and warm, and you take a moment to appreciate how big they are compared to your own. He squeezes yours, once.

“I have to warn you now, I’m a massive cuddler,” he says, and you laugh.

“Noted.” You lead Dan to your bedroom, and when you open the door you’re instantly grateful that you’d decided to tidy up a few days ago. There are a few articles of dirty clothes that haven’t quite made their way to the laundry basket yet, but overall everything looks relatively clean. You make a beeline for your dresser as Dan gingerly sits on your bed, looking around the room. He’s been taking in everything his eyes can reach since he got here, you notice; he seems absolutely fascinated with everything about your house for reasons you don’t quite know. Maybe he’s just an observational person by nature. Who knows? You pull a pair of sweats from your dresser and shuck your jeans off, changing into the more comfortable garments quickly before turning back to Dan with a smile.

“Did you want to borrow a pair of sweats or something? I don’t know about you, but I hate sleeping in jeans,” you say, and Dan jumps a bit in surprise as his gaze tears away from one of the posters on your wall.

“Think you have a pair that can fit these grasshopper legs?” He asks, and you chuckle.

“If I can’t find anything, then you’ll have to be resigned to the fact that your shins will be exposed.”

“I think I can live with that.” You eventually find a pair of black sweats that have always been a little too big for you, and you climb into bed as Dan begins shimmying out of his pants to change. You can’t help but feel a bit nervous, despite the fact that you’d moved away from fooling around so quickly that it might as well have not happened in favor of taking a fucking _nap,_ of all things _._ As soon as Dan’s got the sweats on, exposed shins and all, he crawls under the covers at your right side and immediately curls into you, slinging a long and gangly arm over your midsection. He’s solid and warm- a little uncomfortable due to the sharpness of his elbows (and most other parts of his body,) but a comforting and soothing presence nonetheless.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you were a cuddler.” You chuckle softly. “I almost don’t need my blanket like this.”

“Am I making you too hot?” Dan replies. He moves his face from your shoulder with a frown, and you shake your head.

“Nah, I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” You hesitate for a moment before raising a hand to stroke his hair. The frizzy curls catch against your fingers every so often, but they’re soft, and Dan seems to enjoy the attention as he sighs and curls further into your side.

“We really backed away from those sexy times pretty quickly,” he murmurs into your neck, and you laugh.

“Yeah, but I’m not complaining. This is... nice.”

“I agree.” Things quiet down after that, and you’re not sure when you fall asleep, but when you open your eyes again, the sun has already gone down, and Dan is curled up in your arms, face slack as he snores quietly against your shoulder. You suppose that he might have been more tired than you, and you can’t help but smile as you brush a strand of hair away from his eyes. His nose scrunches momentarily at the contact, but it settles back down after a moment, and you draw the covers tighter over yourselves as you close your own eyes and allow yourself to drift back to sleep.

\--/--/--

“Whu-what time is it…?” The covers next to you shift, and you force open your groggy eyes with a frown at the voice. It takes a moment for you to remember that _oh_ , you’d taken a nap with Dan, and he’s just... _here_ in bed with you right now. Dan seems to have forgotten that little fact as well, because after only a moment of silence, he tumbles right out of the bed with a yelp.

“Shit!” You turn over at the sound, bewildered as you watch Dan flail from the confines of your blanket in a flurry of curls and gangly limbs. Once he frees himself from the confines of the blanket, Dan peers up at the bed and stares at you for a moment.

“You okay?” You snicker. Dan’s cheeks flush as he stands back up, running his hands through his hair. It’s sticking out every which way like a lion mane, covering most of his face, and you full on laugh at that.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he grouses in response. “I forgot where I was for a second and scared myself.” It takes a bit of wrangling for Dan to get his hair somewhat in control before he gathers the blanket and climbs back onto the bed. He throws it over both of your shoulders and curls into your side with a small sigh.

“I don’t think I've slept that long in my life,” you say. “I think we knocked the fuck out into the morning of the next day.”

“Woah, really? It feels like I was only out for a few hours or something.”

“Thank god it’s the weekend, at least. I don't know what I would do if I ended up running into work at _least_ an hour late.” Dan chuckles as he presses a kiss to your neck, his wild mane of hair bouncing along with the movement and tickling against your cheek.

“Yeah, I feel you on that. I can't really afford to get fired from my day job,” he murmurs.

“I’m assuming things are a bit tight for you, then.” You’re frowning at him now, and Dan shrugs. He finds a stray sock on the floor, suddenly seeming very interested in staring at it.

“Something like that,” he eventually says. “I’ve got it handled, though. I'm able to rehearse and play shows and eat and smoke, so I’d say I’m in a decent place.”

“...Well, as long as you’re sure.” The concern hasn’t completely settled in the pit of your stomach, but you decide to let it go. “Now that you mention eating, though, I’m sort of fucking hungry.” Dan snorts into your shoulder as he stifles a laugh, and your heart flutters.

“Wanna go grab some breakfast?”

“I know a great diner we can go to. Luckily I have a spare toothbrush you can use, because your breath is _nasty_ right now.”

“Thank god. If you think it _smells_ nasty, imagine how it fuckin’ tastes.”

\--/--/--

The food is good, and the sun outside the diner is good, and Dan is even better.

You watch Dan carefully spear each bite of food onto his fork and take slow, calculated bites. You take notice of how his eyes crinkle at the corners every time you make him laugh. The way he can’t quite sit still for too long. The way he takes in everyone at the diner, how his eyes sweep across the room and gather as many precious details as possible. Sometime during the meal, your hands find each other across the booth, and even though you’re left to finish your breakfast with only one free hand, you feel giddy and content.

“(Y/N)?” You're brought back from your thoughts at Dan’s voice, and you squeeze his hand. He’s giving you that smile, the soft one that makes you feel like you’re floating on air, almost knocking the wind out of you.

“Hm?”

“You’re staring at me. A lot." You can hear the teasing tone in his voice.

“Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Your smoking hot bod is distracting me so much I can't eat.” This draws forth a sweet giggle and slight blush to Dan’s cheeks.

“Shut up, man,” he laughs. “I'm trying to enjoy this delicious breakfast-y goodness, and now _you're_ distracting _me_!”

The banter continues, the comfort grows stronger, and the man sitting in front of you becomes even more beautiful than he already was.

\--/--/--

“I’m going to be busy for the next week or so,” Dan says regretfully after the meal, out on your doorstep. “I’m not sure when we’ll be able to meet up again.”

“Just let me know when things clear up, and we can plan something nice,” You reply. “They say that the third date is when you’re supposed to get fancy, you know.”

“Who’s saying that?”

“I have no idea, but we’ll pretend it’s a thing.” You give Dan a sweet kiss, one that lingers and leaves you smiling as you part.

“Call me when you can, too. I wanna know about all of the crazy rock star stuff you do during practice.”

“You’ll be the first to know when we break our first guitar,” He says sagely, and you can't help but laugh.

Dan waves at you from his van one final time before pulling out of the driveway, headed back to his house, and you stand outside for a few minutes after he’s out of sight, feeling a light breeze rustle your hair and the rays of the rising sun bathing you in warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you want to chat about the fic or just about anything else, you can come hang out at my Tumblr, aciid--heart!


	4. What Are You Waiting For, Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKING hell this one was a doozy to write. Just take it. (This chapter is also the reason why I finally caved in and acknowledged that this story needed to be changed to Explicit, because Whoo Boy Wowie)
> 
> Also thank you SmallAnxietic for helping me write this!!! It would've taken me a million years to get this out otherwise.

_“You light up the room_

_Wherever you go_

_With your wit and charm_

_You turn things around._

 

_You light up the moon_

_You're a rush of blood_

_You're a ray of sun_

_You lighten me up.”_

_Sunbeam. The Last Time I’ll Write About You- Dawn Lanuza._

_\--/--/--_

“Oh, come on!” You grumble to yourself as your character falls off a cliff. _Again_ . This new game you’d gotten was fun, sure, but by _god_ does it also have a wonderful penchant for being extremely annoying and difficult more often than you’d like. You get up from the couch with a harsh sigh to take the game out and put in _Morrowind_ ; you’d gotten the new expansion pack recently, so why not try it out? Just as the game starts loading, your cell phone rings from the coffee table, and you check the display screen before answering with a smile.

“Hello?”

“Hey, (Y/N), it’s Dan! The guys and I are running a late rehearsal tonight, but do you want to grab some dinner afterward? My treat.” Dan sounds excited on the other end of the line, and you smile at his energetic tone.

“Yeah, that sounds great! How should I dress up for the occasion?” You’re already making a beeline toward your closet, eager to begin rifling through the different shirts you have hung up to assemble an outfit. It had been a few weeks since you’d been able to meet up with Dan last, and you can tell by the tone of his voice that he shares your excitement in being able to see one another again.

“Dressing a little nice wouldn’t hurt, but we’re not going anywhere _super_ fancy. I don’t have dress shoes anyway,” he replies, and you laugh.

“Fair enough. When did you want to meet up?”

“How does seven thirty sound?”

“If you’re offering to pay, then you could drag me out at midnight and I wouldn’t care.” This draws a laugh from Dan. You hear a few voices begin to chatter in the background, and once you have your outfit laid out on the bed, you begin making your way back to the living room. “Well, I would care a little bit. The new Morrowind expansion pack has finally fallen into my hands, and I was just about to start playing it when you called.”

“ _What_ _?!_ You jackass, _I_ haven’t even gotten the expansion pack yet! I can’t believe you’d do this to me!”

“Sorry, dude, can’t hear you. Too busy Morrowinding. See you at seven thirty!” And before Dan has a chance to respond, you hang up. You’re excited for tonight, though, and it’s a little difficult to fully pay attention to what’s going on in the game. Late night phone calls can only do so much, but it’s understandable. You still have to go to work five days a week, and Dan has rehearsals on top of his own day job. Sometimes schedules just don't line up, so you're grateful for the fact that you’re able to see him again now. Hearing Dan’s voice, his laugh, but not being able to see his eyes twinkling with mirth and liveliness served to make you miss him something fierce. 

Just because you’re excited about tonight, the game is forgotten so you can clean. Turning on your radio, you play a demo CD that envelops you in a now familiar and welcoming voice.

\--/--/--

Your heart twists with something fuzzy and affectionate when you get to the restaurant and see Dan sitting at a table already. He’s wearing a pair of slacks and a light blue button up, his hair tied back and cheeks cleanly shaven. It takes a bit of effort not to laugh at his sneakers poking out from underneath the slacks.

“Well damn, you look super handsome on this fine evening,” you grin as he stands up to greet you. Dan smiles back, and he gives you a quick kiss before pulling out your chair, and when he sits back down, he hands you a menu. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

“Why thank you, my good sir,” he replies, accented with a flourish. “You’re looking pretty hot yourself. And don’t worry, I just got here.” 

“You flatter me too much.” You roll your eyes as you open the menu and begin scanning the different dishes available. “So what here is good?” Dan shrugs.

“I’ve never actually been here before,” he says. “Figured I could take you somewhere nice just because.”

“That's… really nice, Dan,” you say, and your cheeks are heating up as you mentally pick a meal at random and close the menu again. 

“I have to admit that I have ulterior motives, though.” Dan waggles his eyebrows, and you laugh.

“Oh? What sorts of motives are you sitting on over there?”

“I might be trying to butter you up so I can see some of the stuff in the new Morrowind expansion.” His smile is just as mischievous as it is charming, making you grin and pat his arm from across the table.

“Don’t worry, dude. I was going to let you play anyway. You made a save file on my console, right?” Dan cocks his head to the side as he thinks about it, but before he can answer, a waiter approaches the table and asks for your orders. You give them quickly, and the waiter whisks away your menus before offering a friendly smile and turning to attend to something else. 

“I’m pretty sure I have one, yeah. That character’s a baby, though,” he pouts. “It would be easier for me to just watch you play rather than start from scratch.” You hum in agreement; you’d forgotten that you’d created a profile for Dan to play if he ever came over again in the future, but because the two of you had become busy, he hadn’t been able to come over and play on it at all. 

“Fair enough. Want to make it a date night?” Dan beams, leaning over the table to lace your fingers together. 

“That sounds like a great fucking time,” he says. “We can order a fuckton of pizza and everything.”

“Don’t make me crave pizza while we’re here at a nice restaurant waiting on fancy and delicious food!” You make Dan laugh at that.

“It may taste better, but it’s also _way_ more expensive.”

“...I see your point.”

When the food gets to your table, Dan peers at your plate, grabbing his fork and leaning forward to get a better look at it. You roll your eyes and pick up your own fork.

“Can I help you?” You ask with a snarky tone, and Dan grins.

“Sorry, that just looks fucking delicious.” He glances down at his own plate. “This looks really good too, though. Maybe I’m hungrier than I thought.”

“I don’t blame you. If I’d waited any longer then the tablecloth would’ve started looking a lot more appetizing.” 

“Shall we, then?” 

“We shall!”  You start spearing a bite of food onto your fork with a grin as you both dig in.

It only takes five minutes for Dan to start stealing more obvious glances at your plate again, and you finally roll your eyes and push it closer to him. 

“Here, do you want to try some?” You laugh as his eyes light up from your offer. 

“Yes, please!” he replies. He spears a moderately sized bite and hums happily as he chews the food.

“Man, I should’ve ordered that for myself,” he says mid bite and you cringe.

“Stop talking with your mouth full,” you scold. “That looks so gross!”  

“Are you telling me that talking with a disgusting pile of mushy, chewed up food in my mouth isn’t fancy?”

“Shut the fuck up, dude, oh my god. I'm trying to _eat_ here!” Dan coughs a bit as he laughs, trying not to choke.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

“Thank you!” Without really thinking about it, you reach your hand out, and Dan wordlessly takes it in his own before moving to take another bite of his food.

“Thank you again for this,” you eventually say. “I’m having a nice time.” You smile up at Dan, and he squeezes your hand. 

“Of course, (Y/N). I'm glad I could take you out.”

It’s nice to chat and idly pick at your meals, and it’s nice to steal occasional bites of food from each other’s plates, and it’s nice to see Dan so content. Overall, you find that just being with Dan feels nice. You’re glad to have the chance to be with him.

\--/--/--

“Sorry I wasn’t able to take you out earlier today,” Dan says regretfully when the two of you finally leave the restaurant. “I would’ve liked to have more time with you.” 

“It’s not _too_ late yet,” you reply with a smile. “It also happens to be Friday, so I think we can afford to sleep in a little tomorrow. Wanna go back to my place for a bit?” 

“Ooh, scandalous! Are you trying to sex me up or something?” You burst out laughing and swat at Dan’s arm, making him giggle.

“If you cleaned your fucking car, then maybe.” 

“Ouch! Hearing you loud and clear.” Dan leans forward to give you another quick kiss with a grin. “I _would_ like to go back to your place, though. We can play some Morrowind now,” he says.

“Follow me, then!” 

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to trail your way back to your house since the restaurant is only a short walk away, and Dan makes a beeline for your kitchen once you arrive and you’ve taken off your shoes.

“Is it bad that I’m already kind of hungry again?” He calls out. “Also, can I grab some water?” You shake your head with a smile as you turn on your console and open the tray to put the Morrowind disk in.

“Yeah, actually, that’s kinda bad. And go ahead. My water is your water.” 

“Thanks!” The game is already loaded by the time Dan wanders back into the living room with his glass, and he sits down next to you with a satisfied sigh. 

“You sure you’re okay with just watching me play?” You ask, and Dan smiles at you as he takes a drink.

“Yeah, totally! I'm chill right now. I just want to see the expansion pack,” he replies. “At least this way I can determine whether it’s worth me spending money on.”

You take the time to excitedly show Dan your character, your current gear, the newest quests you’d taken from the expansion pack. He asks questions, makes insightful comments on your gameplay, and makes you laugh as you stumble through uncharted territories within the game.

“Watch out, something’s coming up behind you!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Look, it doesn’t even have- oh _fuck!_ ” Dan’s laughing as he watches your character run in circles in an attempt to avoid taking damage, and you’re laughing alongside him when you stumble and get attacked. 

“I thought I had him!” You exclaim. “You _saw_ me sneaking! He shouldn’t have seen me!” 

“Yeah, I did. That son of a bitch out-sneaked you, dude.” As you continue your journey into a dark and foreboding cave, Dan sets his glass down and hesitantly curls into your side. You smile to yourself as he settles with his head resting on your shoulder.

“Getting comfortable?” You ask, and Dan hums.

“Yup. This… is this okay?” He sounds a little nervous now, and you pause the game to turn and kiss his temple.

“Dude, you’re fine. You told me yourself that you’re a snuggling monster, and trust me when I say that I fucking love it.” Dan smiles at that, letting his shoulders relax as he cuddles a little closer. 

\--/--/--

The two of you had shifted around since you started playing. The game had been pretty much forgotten at this point in favor of kissing Dan, who had eventually crept his way into your lap mid-game. You certainly aren’t complaining, though. Making out with Dan was slowly but surely becoming one of your favorite things.

There’s a comfortable silence in the air, occasionally interrupted with small giggles or soft moans. Not much needed to be said in making out with someone on your couch, really. Before long, though, once you’ve both shed your shirts and begun to really let your hands wander, Dan pulls away from you with a somewhat troubled look on his face. 

“I…” He bites his lip and turns his head away for a moment, letting his long hair fall in front of his face as he tries to find his words. You rub small circles into his hips, pressing the occasional kiss to his collarbone and neck. 

“What’s up, Dan? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong, I promise. It’s just…” 

“It’s just…?”

“I want… I want to blow you,” he mumbles, and you raise your eyebrows in surprise. 

“Are you sure? That’s… that’s a bit of a jump.” It’s a silent means of offering him an out, just in case. Dan heaves out a sigh and nods slowly. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. Don’t psych me out of this,” he says sternly, and you chuckle.

“Okay, okay, I won’t.” You lean forward to kiss Dan again, slow and deep, and he sighs into your mouth. He nibbles on your bottom lip for a moment before pulling away. He gives you one last kiss, and then he’s sliding from your lap, nudging your legs apart and kneeling on the ground in front of you. His hands idly skirt across your thighs as he mentally steels himself, and you lean forward to run your hand through his hair. 

“Hey, are you alright?” You murmur, and after a beat of silence, Dan nods. 

“I’m fine. Just gimme a minute.” So you do. Your hand continues to idly comb through his curls, and eventually Dan begins to unbuckle your belt. 

“Not gonna lie, I’m a little scared to see your dick,” he admits as he begins to tug your jeans down. You tilt your head to the side as you lift your hips a bit to make things easier for him, and you’re soon left in just your boxers.

“Why? Is something wrong?” Dan laughs and shakes his head.

“No, everything’s fine. It’s just…” Dan looks like he’s trying to stifle an embarrassed giggle. “What if I get your dick out of these boxers and it’s like a foot long or something? I can’t suck a gargantuan dick that big for my first go.” You’re immediately wheezing in laughter, and Dan joins in, letting out a snort in an attempt to stifle it. 

“Oh my god, dude, you can’t just _say_ shit like that without warning me!” You eventually manage. “I can assure you that I’m not harboring a tree trunk in my boxers. Besides, you can take things at your own pace. I'm not gonna force you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” Dan murmurs, but before you have a chance to respond, he’s wrapping his fingers around the band of your underwear and pulling it down and off your legs. Your cheeks heat up and so do Dan’s, because wow. Suddenly, for the first time ever, Dan’s staring right at another man’s dick. Your dick. You shift on the couch nervously. 

“You can’t just stare at my junk and not say anything, man. You’re making me anxious.” Without much warning, his hand wraps around your shaft as he looks up at you. 

“You’ve got a nice dick, don’t worry about that,” he chuckles softly, tearing his gaze away from you. “I’m fine, by the way. It’s just a lot to take in. Quite literally.” 

“Thanks for the compliment,” you snort. “Do whatever you want.” 

With that invitation he finally starts to move his hand, pumping your cock slowly. Getting used to the feeling of a dick in his hand besides his own. It’s not too different or strange; he knows how dicks work. You hum from above him, gently encouraging him as your hands tangle themselves a little tighter in his hair. Dan’s confidence builds and he finally manages to scoot a little closer and wrap his lips around the head. 

You moan at the sudden warm feeling around you. As you stare down at Dan between your legs, you have a hard time believing this is actually happening. Holy fuck. 

It goes slow. Dan takes his time learning what makes you shiver and writhe. It’s not the best blow job you’ve ever been given, sure, but you can tell he’s definitely going to be good at it before long. His hand pumps you faster than before and he silently steels himself before taking more of you into his mouth, trying to be conscious of his teeth as he sinks down. Your hand forms a fist, grabbing his hair and pulling just enough to get a reaction out of him. Dan moans around your cock, and it makes you groan when he looks back up at you again with wide eyes. 

“You look so good, baby,” you praise. Dan’s eyes flutter shut as he tries harder to hollow his cheeks. “So good, Dan. You make me feel so good.” The compliment shoots right through him, and he’s humming around you again, letting his head rise and fall faster. It’s sloppy and rushed, but you still love it, your hips bucking up accidentally when he starts to suck harder around your head. 

Dan removes himself from your dick, letting his hand jack you off, the movements lubed by his spit. He kisses the head of it and works his way around your shaft, pressing light pecks and dragging his tongue along with them. You moan and take more of his hair in your hands, trying your best to keep it out of his way. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for awhile,” Dan suddenly admits, looking back up at you. “I just… can’t get enough of you. I want to make you feel amazing.” He laps his tongue at the slit of your dick, licking off the precum that’s leaking out. “Am I doing alright?” 

“You’re doing great, Dan,” you sigh, your chest heaving. He smiles up at you. 

“Have you thought about this like I have?” He asks. You nod your head quickly. “I… I want you to do anything you want to me. I want you to fuck me. You’d make me feel so good.” _Wow_ , holy shit, okay. His dirty talk is surprising, but it’s _definitely_ more than welcome. He’s working himself up just as much as he is for you. The dirty talk ends, however, when Dan’s mouth comes back onto your cock, his tongue making quick work along with his hand. You throw your head back and moan loudly, biting your lip to cut yourself off. He removes himself from you again, panting heavily.

“Come on, (Y/N),” he says, voice rough. “I want to hear you.” And then he’s going back down again, eyes shutting in concentration. 

“ _Fuck_ , Danny,” you breathe, your hips thrusting in short movements. Dan encourages it, his hand letting go of you as he stills. “Oh my God, _fuck_.” He looks up at you expectantly, swallowing around you, making you shiver and thrust into his mouth more. Your grip tightens in his hair, tugging hard in a way that’s probably painful, but Dan’s eyes are fluttering shut, and he’s trembling. He moans around the cock in his mouth and _holy shit_ , you’re kind of fucking his face, and he’s just _taking_ it, his expression slack with something akin to satisfaction as you thrust into his mouth, deliberate and slow.

“You look so pretty with a cock in your mouth, baby,” you breathe, and Dan hums in response. “God, _fuck_ , you’re perfect. So good.” You tug at his hair again, and he shivers.

It’s not long until you pull him off of you, though, because you are _definitely_ not cumming in his mouth for his first blow job. He gets the hint, jacking you off again quickly.

“Do it,” Dan murmurs. He’s staring intently up at you, pupils blown wide with lust. “Cum for me, (Y/N).”

You don’t stand a chance. Your hips stutter when you cum and you moan loudly, the sticky fluid being caught by Dan’s hand, some managing to get on his face. You chuckle breathlessly upon seeing his nose scrunch up a bit, but he doesn’t move to wipe it off. You lean forward and pull him up into a deep and sloppy kiss, licking into his mouth, sucking on his tongue and feeling a sense of satisfaction when Dan moans low from his chest, scrabbling to grip at your arms to keep himself steady. 

“Is this your way of telling me that I did a good job?” Dan teases in between kisses. You pull away for a moment to catch your breath, grinning lopsidedly.

“Yeah, definitely,” you say. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a boyfriend that eager to suck my dick before.” Somehow it doesn’t hit you until now that Dan’s still half-clothed, and you pull him up until he’s standing between your legs, and you begin to tug his jeans down.

“That’s pretty surprising, actually,” Dan replies. His tone is deliberate, slow, and you notice that each breath he takes in is shaky and deep. Once his jeans and boxers are removed, you really take in how hard he is, straining against his belly and leaking precum. _He was getting off on it,_ you realize. Getting off on sucking your dick, on getting his face fucked and being used. _Oh._ You notice that his hands are twitching as he forces them to rest at his sides. You stroke at his hips in small circles as you take a deep, steadying breath. 

“Come here,” you say, and Dan immediately obeys, crawling into your lap and draping his arms over your shoulders. _Something to file away for later,_ you think to yourself. 

“ _Please,_ please,” he whines. “Please, (Y/N), I- let me cum. Need it so badly.” His eyes are glazed over, blown completely with lust, and he’s trembling, nails digging into your back in his effort to stay still. You grasp at his cock and stroke it with a firm grip, and Dan jerks into the touch with a loud moan. 

“You did such a good job, baby,” you say as you begin to kiss along his neck, on the underside of his jaw, and Dan whimpers. “Made me feel so good. Good work like that deserves a reward, wouldn’t you say?” You rub your thumb over his slit, smearing precum as he trembles in your grip. 

“ _Yes_ , yes, _please_.” He’s babbling now, completely lost in the sensations as you stroke him faster. “Oh _fuck_ , _(Y/N)_ -"

“Go on, then,” you say, and you bite down _hard_ on his shoulder. “Cum for me. Want to hear how pretty you sound.” Then Dan’s crying out loudly as he cums, his hips stuttering as he jerks in your grip. It gets all over your hand, on his stomach, and then he’s slumping over against you, his head dropping to rest on your shoulder. You use your free hand to stroke slowly across his back, through his hair as he tries to catch his breath. 

“How are you doing?” You eventually ask, breaking the silence that had fallen around you. Dan wheezes out a small laugh into your shoulder. 

“I’m… I’m feeling a lot right now,” he mumbles. “They’re not bad feelings, but they are a lot. I’m also _super_ fucking tired.” You notice that his speech is a little slurred, and you gently raise him so that you’re face to face. His eyes are drooping, and he looks a little out of it as you start to pet his hair again. 

“That _was_ intense,” you agree, and you lean forward to kiss him softly. “Do you need anything right now?”

“Water, please,” he says, and you notice that his voice is a little hoarse, breathy and strained as he avoids talking too loudly. “I’d also really like it if we got cleaned up. I’ve got dried jizz all over my face still and it’s starting to feel a little gross.” 

“I’m on it,” you chuckle, and you tap his thigh as an indicator for him to slide off of your lap. He flops back onto the couch with a sigh, running a shaky hand through his now matted and tangled curls.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” he says hesitantly once you’ve stood up and stretched, making a face at the jizz still on your hand. 

“What’s up, Dan?”

“I’ll…” he bites his lip and turns away for a moment, face flushed. “I’ll be able to see you from the kitchen, right? I don’t think I want to be alone right now.” Your expression softens as you lean down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Yeah, you should be able to see me from the kitchen. We… we didn’t really talk about any of the things we just did beforehand, so if you need anything, just let me know, alright? You seem a little out of it right now.” 

“I will,” Dan says, and he looks relieved. “And yeah, I am kinda out of it. I’m, like… more mentally tired than anything. I’ve never done something like that before.” You make your way to the kitchen with a hum of acknowledgement, making sure to stay in Dan’s line of sight as you quickly wash your hands and get him a glass of water. 

“Neither have I, actually,” you admit. “You _are_ okay though, right? I didn’t overwhelm you or push you too much?” You see Dan shake his head after a moment, and you can feel yourself relax. 

“...No, I think I’m good,” he says. “I actually, uh… I liked it. A lot.” You can hear the embarrassment in his voice, and you huff out a quiet laugh as you place the glass on the coffee table. Dan sits up and stretches out, sighing in relief as his back pops a few times before reaching over to grab the water. He immediately begins to chug it, and it’s half empty by the time he sets it back down. 

“I did too,” you say as you sit down next to him. “Stay the night? I know you said you were okay, but I just want to be sure.” You’re hoping your sincerity is coming across well enough, enough for Dan to know that you want to take care of him. 

“Yeah, of course,” Dan replies, and he leans in to rest his head on your shoulder. “It’s late anyway. I don’t think it would be a super good idea to risk me passing out behind the wheel.” 

“Mmm, true. You done with your water?” Dan yawns and stretches again, mindful to not kick you as his legs splay out for what looks like miles. 

“Yeah, I’m done. Wanna go shower now?”

“Please. I’m all sweaty and gross and don’t want to cuddle while being all sweaty and gross.”

It isn’t awkward or uncomfortable to shower together. You don’t really know why you thought it _would_ be; it’s pleasant to stand under the warm spray of water with Dan, to spend the time washing each other’s hair, passing over the soap and flicking water into each other’s eyes in a way that feels both incredibly childish and domestic at the same time. You stand underneath the shower until it starts to run cold, stealing the occasional kiss or two every so often and laughing when shaking your hair out gets water in Dan’s face, and when he retaliates twofold, damp and dripping curls swinging wildly about as you both laugh together. It’s nice.

Dan borrows a shirt and another pair of sweats, looks kind of ridiculous wearing clothes that are just a _little_ too small on him, but it’s cute- _endearing_ \- and he looks content when he slips under the covers with you.

“This shirt is so soft,” he mumbles as he curls into your side. You wrap your arms around his waist as you burrow further into the covers, smiling a bit when he presses a kiss to the side of your neck. “Don’t be surprised if it happens to disappear from your closet.”

“It doesn’t even fit you right,” you chuckle in return. “Are you going to show off those guns of yours for me in that shirt, then?”

“Maybe. Maybe it was supposed to be a surprise that you just ruined.”

“Oh hush. I thought you were tired.”

“I am! Just gimme a moment. As much as I want to fall asleep in your arms literal seconds after my head hits the pillow, the process is much more complicated than it appears.” You laugh again, kissing the top of Dan’s head as you close your eyes and a peaceful sense of quiet settles around you both. Before you know it you’re nodding off to sleep, listening to Dan’s breathing even out as he presses himself further into your side, and you think it might be nice to stay like this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo I'm gay! Expect more gay stuff in the future! Also you can find me on Tumblr at aciid--heart!


	5. Skip Back (To A Different Song)

_“Maybe I am the creator of my own pain._   
_For I would never_   
_be disappointed._   
_If I never hoped_   
_For anything_ _  
at all.”_

_misery of expectations. - Liberty Delsouiller._

\--/--/--

When you wake the next morning, it’s quiet.

These kinds of moments are rare, now that the summer has decided to finally make its presence known. You live in a neighborhood addled with a small handful of children, and they’ve grown old enough to play out in the streets this year now that they’re out of school, shrieking and chasing each other up and down the block with water guns as their sandals slap across the road. You don’t mind the noise, though; it makes the air around you feel alive, aware of the energy and happiness that’s happening around you.

It’s the times when everything is quiet that reminds you that any energy must rest at some point, though, and those are the moments where you truly feel at peace.

Aside from the lack of sound drifting through your window, the next thing you become aware of is the feeling of a hand carding gently through your hair. The touch is slow, hesitant, as if afraid that you’ll wake at any moment and chastise it for its presence. It feels nice, though. It’s comfortable, has you sighing and shifting further under the covers to hold onto that feeling of contentment and warmth. You hear a soft chuckle, and you slowly open your eyes to see Dan laying in front of you and looking more calm than you’ve ever seen him. His hair is an absolute mess- most of it is covering his face, frizzy and unkempt, with the rest fanned out across his pillow and shoulders. You vaguely recall him mentioning that his hair gets a little crazy after he washes it, while you were showering last night, and you can _definitely_ see what he means, now.

It’s not a bad look, though. If you’re being honest, you think he looks absolutely _adorable_ like this.

“Morning, sleepy head,” he murmurs, and you manage a lopsided smile in return.

“Morning. What time is it?” Dan tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as he hums some sort of song- nothing you recognize- and his hand trails down to cup your cheek, to stroke at your jaw.

“Somewhere around 9,” he replies. His voice is small, careful, not wanting to break the trance that the two of you are in. Everything about his movements are careful, mapping out your features underneath his fingertips with all the reverie of someone handling a delicate artifact. The silence that falls isn’t uncomfortable; if anything, it makes the whole thing feel so much more intimate, something that you want to bask in for as long as possible.

“Anything you want to do for breakfast?” Dan eventually asks. You lean into the hand gently cupping your jaw with a contented sigh.

“I have a couple of things in mind, depending on what’s in the kitchen. Can we stay here a little longer, though? I'm too comfortable to get out of bed right now.” You murmur. Dan lets out a soft laugh, and he’s pressing his forehead against yours as he shimmies closer to you.

“Yeah, of course. We’ve got all day.” You thank the heavens above for the fact that today is Saturday, that you actually _do_ have all day to do absolutely nothing. The hand that’s stroking your jaw drops back down onto the mattress, and you lace your fingers together with a smile.

“Hey,” you murmur, and Dan’s breath ghosts over your cheeks as he huffs out a quiet chuckle.

“Hey there yourself.” And everything is perfect, in this moment. You focus on the steady rise and fall of Dan’s chest as he breathes, the flutter of his lashes as he fights against morning grogginess. His hand is warm and rough against yours, and his feet are only somewhat chilled as he tangles his your legs together.

Despite the calmness you’re feeling, though, it slowly begins to drain away. Memories of the night before, of why Dan’s even here in the first place make their way back to the forefront of your mind, and the reality of the situation pops the bubble, breaks the illusion.

“As much as I would love to just gaze lovingly into your eyes all morning,” You say quietly, “I…  think we should talk a bit. About us.” Dan pulls back a bit to turn an inquisitive gaze onto you, and his confusion is palpable.

“What do you mean? Like… us being… involved?” Dan hesitates at the end, and it’s that hesitation- the hesitation in even saying the word _involved_ \- that has you nodding as you squeeze his hand, gently.

“Yeah, that. I just… I need to know where this is going. Whether or not we want the same things out of this moving forward.” You bite your lip and glance down at your hands, trying to find the right words. “We’ve been moving kind of fast, and I don’t usually do this sort of thing. Get into bed with a guy so soon after we started getting to know each other.”

“I… I guess you’re right,” Dan mumbles, and he… he does something interesting with his face, something that he doesn’t seem to be aware of as he gently tugs his hand back and curls it against his chest.

Well, then. That… that kind of stings a little.

“I like you, Dan,” You murmur, all sincerity and nervousness. “I enjoyed what happened last night, but I need to know if you don’t want to become anything more serious than we are now.” Dan is quiet for one moment, then two, and as it begins to stretch on longer and longer, you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze anymore.

“I… I like you too, (Y/N),” He eventually says. “I enjoyed what happened last night too. But… I’m not sure if I want this to be a serious thing.” You look up at that as your heart starts to race a bit, the beginnings of nervousness snaking up your spine. Dan looks deep in thought, hesitant as he searches your face. You’ve seen that look before.

“Do you need time to elaborate?” You ask, and after a moment, Dan nods. So you lay together in silence, but you don’t particularly like how this silence feels. There’s a weight to it that makes you nervous, and you watch as Dan’s expression begins to clear, as he gathers his thoughts and chooses his next words carefully.

“I’m not sure how serious I want this to be because I’ve never done something like this before,” Dan says slowly. “I don’t really know what I’m doing. This is all so _foreign_ to me, as a thing that I can do. To… be involved with another guy.”

“I get that,” You say. “Which is why I wanted to ask about it. We’ve fooled around. We’ve gone on a few dates already. Am I…” You can’t make eye contact with him as you say it, but a sudden new fear seizes you like a vice, has your chest tightening with the urge to tear up against your better wishes.

You can’t bring yourself to do it.

“Am I being too pushy?” You ask instead, and you hope that Dan doesn’t notice the slight wobble in your voice. “I would’ve assumed that you would be having more of a crisis about it all.”

“I’ve been… sort of putting it off, in a way,” Dan admits. You don’t know if he’s trying to catch your gaze or not. “No use having a crisis when you’re… when you’re having a good time, you know?”

“I suppose that makes sense,” You say. There’s an attempt at nonchalance somewhere in there, but it falls flat as you disentangle your legs, as you curl a little into yourself and pointedly refuse to make eye contact. You can practically _feel_ the barriers beginning to raise up between the two of you, both emotional and physical. “If I’m being honest with you right now, I can’t really say that that _doesn't_ hurt, but I respect it. I… I know how it is.”

“Yeah.” And apparently that’s the only proper answer that Dan can give, because he doesn’t say anything after that.

This isn’t how you wanted things to go.

You’re starting to regret opening your mouth at all, now.

The silence that follows is tense, hanging heavily between you as you try to think of something else to say- _anything,_ really. Gone is the peace from the silence of the early morning, begging to be filled with energy and happiness and the wonders of a new day. Instead you’ve replaced it with… whatever _this_ has turned into.

You bite your lip in nervousness, and you miss the way Dan’s eyes follow the movement as you sit up. The covers slide from your shoulders and pool down in your lap, and the air around you is cool enough to make you shiver a bit.

“I’ll make us breakfast,” you say. You swing your legs over the side of the bed and stretch as you stand up. “You can get dressed while I’m doing that.”

You think you might have heard a quiet “okay” as you leave the room, but you don’t bother to pause or look back.

\--/--/--

Breakfast turns out to be a simple dish- eggs and toast- upon looking into the fridge and finding that you don’t have the ingredients to make a proper meal. By the time Dan slowly makes his way into the kitchen, you’ve already finished setting the table and serving the food.

“Sorry, I didn’t ask if you liked eggs,” you say as you hand him a fork. He takes it with a nod and sits at the table gingerly, as if he’s unsure of whether he’s allowed to or not. “If you’ve told me before, I couldn't really remember, anyways.”

“It’s fine,” Dan murmurs. “Thanks for breakfast.”

A heavy silence falls as you begin to eat, broken occasionally by the clinking of forks against plates, and once when Dan gets up to pour himself a glass of water, his chair scraping gently across the floor when he does. You try not to think about the fact that he already seems to be at least somewhat familiar with your kitchen- he doesn’t have to ask where the cups are, or maybe he just doesn’t want to, now that you’ve hardly made any eye contact with one another since you left the bedroom.

Stubborn.

When he sits back down with his glass, you idly note that he places it on the left side of his plate, just the same as his fork.

...That’s not the kind of thing you should be noticing right now.

The silence is stifling enough for you to make a few attempts at conversation- just small talk, inconsequential little quips that unsurprisingly get you nowhere. Dan responds to them, but they’re simple answers, no more than a few words, all in that same quiet and subdued tone that doesn’t allow for anything more.

The tension in the air is palpable. It’s heavy and foreboding, and it _hurts._ You’re not even sure why; Dan’s just been some _guy_ \- a guy that you’ve gone on a few dates with.

...and kissed a few times. And spent the night with a couple of times.

...and been blown by.

Just some guy. Your relationship hasn’t really been anything beyond that, in all honesty.

Your chest still aches for some reason, though.

Just as your mind begins to wander, dangerously close to a more complicated and uncomfortable place, Dan breaks the silence, abruptly cutting off your train of thought.

“Are you seeing anyone?” He asks quietly, and then he’s rushing to follow up with another question. “Like… are you sleeping with anyone right now? Besides me?”

The question startles you, to put it lightly.

“Um." You pause for a moment to put your fork down. “No, not really. I’ve been single for awhile, now.”

“Oh?” Dan’s still ridiculously quiet, but his tone is inquisitive. You offer a small shrug.

“I mean, I used to have a boyfriend, but since he moved out, uh… nobody else has come around. No one but you.”

Why is he even asking you this?

You almost don’t want to ask, but if Dan’s bringing it up, then why not? “What about you?”

The question doesn’t catch him off guard, but you can see the way he seems to physically deflate a bit, and he looks sad now as he stares down at his plate. “I don’t know. I went through a breakup sort of recently, and since then I’ve kind of just… started drifting. Going on a few dates here and there, waiting to see if something sticks.” His eyes dart up to you, quick and wary, and when he looks back down he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing as he taps his fork against his plate.

The unspoken implication that you’re the one who _did_ stick hangs heavy in the air, leaves a tightness in your chest and an unpleasant pit in your stomach.

So maybe you’d begun to hope for something more, after knowing Dan for a month already. Maybe you thought that things would work out somehow.

Now you know that Dan doesn’t reciprocate. He feels _something_ , that much is obvious- but it’s not good enough.

Maybe _you’re_ not good enough?

...

You suddenly find that you’re not hungry anymore.

A quick glance at Dan’s plate shows that he’d taken only a few bites, and most likely hasn’t touched it in a while. You gather your plate and fork as you stand up and take a deep, steadying breath.

“Are you ready to go?” You can tell that your voice comes out sounding off, not quite steady and a little quiet, but there’s no use in trying to fix it. You can’t really find it in yourself to properly care, anyways.

“Yeah.” Dan’s making no move to actually take his plate and stand up, so you do it for him. Your movements are jerky as you stack the plates and make your way to the kitchen. You can hear the scraping of his chair from behind you as you slide the soggy toast and cold eggs from each plate and throw them away. _What a waste._

“I’m going to go get my phone.” You can barely hear Dan’s quiet voice, but you don’t acknowledge it, instead moving to run some warm water over the dishes and rinse some of the crumbs and yolk sticking to it.

The drive to Dan’s house is silent, even after you give him permission to turn on the radio. You can’t help but glance over at him every so often, even though Dan is pointedly staring straight ahead and focused on the road each time you do.

You can _tell_ that he’s trying to say something. Though he’s refusing to acknowledge you every time you look at him, you can see the way his jaw tightens, how his fingers are drumming against his thigh as he attempts to keep his knee from bouncing in place. From what you’ve seen, he’s not the type to fidget the way he is right now, as if he’s barely holding himself together.

The words just won’t come out, though.

By the time you’ve pulled up to Dan’s house- apartment? warehouse?- you’re gripping the steering wheel so tightly your knuckles are white, and your patience has worn thin.

“So?” Dan’s gaze snaps towards you, eyes wide and startled as you address him.

“So, what?” You can feel your jaw clench at the puzzlement in his tone.

_Really?_

The tension inside of you finally snaps, and suddenly the words are pouring from your mouth before you can stop them, angry and heated.

“You’re kidding, right? I just-" You cut yourself off with a harsh sigh. “Tell me something. Am I just someone that you _used_ to have some ‘fun’ with until you decided to bail because you’re too fucking scared to commit?”

The words come out harsher than you meant for them to, but it doesn’t matter, because they hang heavy in the space between you for all but a moment before they just… drop. Dan looks away and begins to pick at one of the holes in his jeans.

He doesn’t even _try_ to answer. And that _really_ fucking hurts.

“Get out.” You force the words out through gritted teeth, and Dan wastes no time in unbuckling his seatbelt and throwing the door open as he scrambles from the seat. He turns back around to look at you through the open window, and he most _definitely_ has something to say now, but at this point you couldn’t care less about whatever it might be.

“I’ll see you around. Just… don’t bother contacting me until you have a bit of that crisis you’ve been avoiding. Maybe then you can stop fucking around.” The words are unexpectedly harsh and burn your tongue as they leave your mouth, leaving a sour taste behind as you fight the urge to immediately take it back.

Without another word, you drive off, far enough for you to force your thoughts away from Dan, from the way his expression had twisted into… something indefinable just then.

Well. That went horribly, to say the least.

Does it even matter, though? Dan isn’t anyone special. He’s just… he’s just some _guy_ you met at a bar.

If he decides to contact you again, great.

If not…

It’s time to move on, you suppose.

...You just _had_ to open your stupid fucking mouth, didn’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's fucken GO lads I have so much that I want to do with this story so buckle up and get ready for a Long and Eventful Ride


	6. But The Words Ring Hollow

_in silence, we discover ourselves_

_found. whiskey words & a shovel - r.h. sin._

_\--/--/--_

...Well, that went horribly, to say the least.

Dan fucked up.   


...Dan _really_ fucked up.

As Dan watches Y/N drive off, he can’t help but feel a stab of guilt in the pit of his stomach at his expression, over how angry and _hurt_ he’d looked over everything that had just transpired.

He stands and watches Y/N’s car disappear from the road; and he stands outside for a little bit longer after that.

The morning is still fresh, blessed with a nice breeze and clear skies, but Dan takes to slinking up the walkway to his “apartment”- an old, rundown warehouse with many of the walls simply torn down for extra space- and slams the door shut behind him instead. It’s surprising to see that the place is actually empty for once, but Dan’s not complaining. He doesn’t think he’s in the mood to deal with _any_ of his roommates- even in passing- right now. He welcomes the solitude; goes to his room with a tired sigh and throws himself onto his bed as soon as the door is shut and his shoes are off. The mattress is a little lumpy, and the sheets scratch a bit at his arms as he settles into it, but Dan can’t really find it in himself to be bothered by it right now.

As if he’s not allowed a moment of respite, Y/N’s words are still bouncing around in his skull, heavy and foreboding on his conscience.

He briefly thinks about getting up to turn on some music to try and help drown out his thoughts; but now that he’s here, he decides that it would take too much effort to get back up and actually do so. As it is, Dan resigns himself to stare up at the ceiling, thinking about Y/N and everything that he had said.

He’s finding himself more upset than he would’ve thought about the whole thing, for whatever reason. It hadn’t been a major fight or argument. Things had gotten quiet and awkward; then Y/N was angry at him and telling Dan not to contact him again until he got his shit together.

Which is all well and good, but it doesn’t _matter_ , because why should it? He’s only known Y/N for a month, and they aren’t even in a relationship.

...Which is what got Dan in trouble in the first place, wasn’t it?

They aren’t in a relationship, and Dan would’ve been content with just fooling around for awhile because he has no fucking clue what he’s doing, no sense of confidence or _any_ experience at all with the whole… fooling around with another guy thing.

Could anyone really blame him for not being ready?

Part of him wants to be just as angry with Y/N as he is with Dan; because why is he rushing Dan so hard? Why would he even want to be with him in that way to begin with?

He’s nothing special, anyway.

Lord knows he’s got enough on his own plate without bringing someone else into the mix.

“Goddamnit,” Dan mutters to himself. He idly runs a hand through his hair, and just the feel of his curls slipping through his fingers only serves to frustrate himself further upon remembering the shower he’d taken with Y/N just the night before. He remembers how giggly and playful they’d both been, how _gentle_ Y/N was while washing Dan’s hair, afraid of getting his fingers tangled and pulling too hard on it.

That was just the way Y/N seemed to be, Dan thinks. He was patient and kind. The entire time they were together, it was so clear that the last thing Y/N wanted to do was accidentally hurt Dan in some way.

…This is getting annoying.

Dan exhales sharply through his nose as he swings his legs over the side of the bed and makes his way back out of his room and into the kitchen. The temptation of making himself breakfast dances around in his mind, but he stops short upon seeing the massive amount of dishes that are piled into the sink, littered with crumbs and syrup and other bits of food.

Such is the curse of having thirteen roommates. Has anyone even _had_ this many roommates at once outside of a dorm before?  

Dan resigns himself to washing some of the dishes and clearing off the counter for lack of anything else better to do. He turns on the radio in the living room and ties his hair back before setting to work, focusing on the warmth of the water on his hands, the cheerful radio hosts going on about Something or Another until the kitchen is neat and tidy again.

His cell phone rings on the counter next to him just as he finishes drying his hands. He sighs and only hesitates for a moment before moving to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey there, Danny! Did I wake you up?” Dan has to bite back a groan upon hearing his bandmate Alex on the other end of the line, rubbing a hand over his face as he throws himself onto the couch in the living room.

“Nah, I’ve been up for a while now. What’s up?”

“I was just making sure you’d be able to make it to practice today,” Alex replies. “I know work’s been giving you weird hours lately.”

Fuck. Dan _completely_ forgot about practice.

“I appreciate the wellness check,” Dan says. “I’m off today, thankfully, so I’ll be ready to head out in twenty or so. Same place?”

“Same place. See you in a few.” Dan tosses his phone back onto the coffee table the minute Alex hangs up with a frown.

Since when did he have practice today?

...Maybe he forgot while he was with Y/N.

He’d been getting swept up in everything whenever he spent time with Y/N.

Dan cuts the thought short with a huff and rises from the couch abruptly, making a beeline for his room to grab his notebook and keys.

None of the CDs Dan has stashed away in his van really sound appealing to listen to, except for a Stone Temple Pilots disk that’s lying on top of the cup holders. He has to make an effort not to jam it into the disk slot as _another_ association with Y/N rises to the surface, irking and unwelcome.

If Dan’s knuckles are a little pale from his grip on the steering wheel as he drives, he’s glad that no one is around to call him out on it.

\--/--/--

Everyone else is already setting up their instruments and doing sound checks when Dan arrives to practice.

They’ve managed to make a friend of someone who has a small studio close enough for them to practice in when he has an empty slot. Dan ambles over to set up his mic, already propped up in its stand.

“We just finished doing a check for your mic,” Alex pipes up to his left. “We just have to get the rest of Ian’s kit set up and we should be good to go.”

“Oh, cool,” Dan replies. “How long can you guys stay?”

“We should all be able to stick around until four.” Dan nods and idly watches as everyone begins to properly gather their instruments: Aron and Jeff on guitar, Alex with his keyboard, Ian on drums. Dan vaguely gestures towards the bass propped up next to Alex’s keyboard.

“That tuned and checked yet?” He asks. Alex grabs the bass and passes it to Dan with a nod.

“Yup. Geared up and ready to go. We were thinking of going through the setlist for the show we have coming up.”

“Sounds good. Let’s do it.”

\--/--/--

They get through three songs before Ian speaks up.

“Hey, Danny, are you in there?” Dan blinks in surprise and is suddenly pulled from his thoughts by Ian’s hand waving in front of his face. He turns to frown at the owner of said hand, and sees Ian frowning at him, clearly impatient. “Come on, dude, we’ve gotta get this song finished. Next show’s coming up soon, and I know you have weird hours at work for the next few days.”

“Alright, _alright_ , I get it,” Dan grumbles, and he adjusts the mic stand as the rest of the guys prepare to start up again. “Just a little out of sorts today, is all.”

“No kidding,” Ian snorts. “You were somewhere else _entirely_ until we got your attention just now. You can stay off of cloud nine long enough to rehearse the song at _least_ once, right?”

Dan rolls his eyes even as the others laugh, and his skin prickles with the tell-tale beginnings of irritation seeping in.

“ _Yes_ , I think I can manage that,” Dan retorts, and thankfully he reigns in his irritation enough to maintain a friendly amount of dry sarcasm as they prepare to restart the song.

Singing has always been an outlet of expression for Dan. It's his rock, the thing that grounds him and helps him parse through internal conflicts and trepidations. He always puts his whole self into his singing; allows himself to get lost in the rhythm, letting his worries melt away, if only for a short time.

That's not what happens.

Everything is a little off-kilter to Dan, his mind both everywhere and nowhere all at once, and they only make it another fifteen minutes or so before the teasing starts back up.

“Dude, you look like shit right now,” Alex finally says as Dan readjusts the mic stand yet again.

_The damn thing’s near busted. Might have to scrounge up some change to try and get a new one._

“Are you _sure_ you’re okay, Dan?”

He's wasting their time. Dan knows that his lack of focus is keeping them from making any real progress right now, and he knows that it's not fair of him to do that.

As it is, he's still a little irritated, and he sits down on the nearby couch with a harsh sigh and Alex coming up to it with him. The couch is hard and lumpy, a little worn down- it’s similar to the bed at his place, just like all of the other furniture there that he could barely afford.

It’s almost laughable, how easily Dan’s mind is wandering to the most inconsequential things at the worst possible times.

“Not really,” Dan admits. “I shouldn't be bringing it to practice, though. We have shit to do.”

“If it's interfering with practice, then we have to work it out,” Alex replies. “We're not just bandmates, dude. We're still friends, even if we're working right now. What's going on?”

Dan glances over and watches the others practicing on their own, and he leans back into the couch with a shrug.

“It's… relationship stuff. It’s nothing serious,” he says. “I met this… someone at one of our shows about a month back, and now I'm not sure what to do.”

Dan chastises himself for the slip-up, but Alex doesn’t seem to notice, thank God.

“What about her are you so torn up about?” Alex asks.

“Well… we’ve fooled around a bit, and I’ve stayed the night a couple of times, but I didn’t think it was _that_ serious. I don’t…” Dan pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Is it bad that I said I didn’t want to get into a committed relationship?”

Alex frowns at him for a moment. “While the statement _itself_ isn’t inherently bad, the fact that you’ve fooled around and shit kind of sours the sentiment.”

“Yeah, I kind of had a feeling,” Dan says. “I don’t even know if it’s _just_ attraction, though. Like, we have fun when we’re together, right? But what if that’s all it turns out to be, and I end up wasting _both_ of our times?”

“Dan, I get what you’re saying here, but quite frankly that’s pretty stupid, even for you. Look. You like her, right?”

“Yeah, but-”

“And she’s cool? You have fun with her even when you’re not fooling around?”

“Of course I do! I wouldn’t sleep with someone if I didn’t get along with them,” Dan says defensively. Alex waves a dismissive hand.

“I’d say that it’s worth a shot, then. Don’t think about it too much and see where it goes,” he says.

“It can’t be _that_ simple. I don’t even know if we’ll ever talk again after the fight we had yesterday.” Alex’s eyes widen, and he straightens up in his seat.

“You didn’t say that you guys got into a fight,” he exclaims.

_Shit._

Of course Dan had to open his stupid fucking mouth in the exact way he _didn’t_ want.

...Then again, that just seems to be the running theme for today, doesn’t it?

“Yeah, it, uh… it kinda sucked. We were in bed this morning and everything was fine, but then we started talk about what we wanted out of the relationship. Whether we were on the same page about things.” Dan sighs and runs a hand through his hair.  “I think I led them on without realizing it, so they got upset when I said I wasn’t really sure what I wanted.”

It’s a bit of a brief explanation, but it’s all Alex needs to know.

“Yikes, that doesn’t sound fun,” Alex says, and Dan scowls.

“No shit it wasn’t fun. I’m not exactly _pretending_ to be in a bad mood here, in case you couldn’t tell.”

“Quite frankly, I had no idea.” Alex rolls his eyes. “You’re so good at keeping your emotions hidden, I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t said anything.”

“It’s whatever. I’ll deal with it later.” Dan shakes his head as he stands up, moving to grab his things. “...I think I’m done practicing for the day.”

“If you say so, then we can call it quits for now.” Alex raises his hands in surrender. “So, now that you’ve successfully decided to ignore that problem, what do you say to that party I mentioned a few days ago?”

Dan considers it for a moment. A party could be a good opportunity to mingle with faces he’s never met before- a chance to meet some smoking hot girl...

Or maybe a decently handsome dude?

Either option seemed viable enough- no matter who he met if he decided to go, none of them would be Y/N.

...And of _course_ he’s thinking about Y/N again.

“Sure, I’ll go. I could go for a night out right about now,” Dan replies with a shrug. He tucks his notebook under one arm and turns towards the door with a yawn. “We pooling or meeting up there?”

“I’ll pick you up. Make sure you’re ready by six tomorrow.”

\--/--/--

When Dan gets home, he tosses his jacket onto his dresser, and he makes an immediate grab for his bong.

It’s only fair to be able to take a hit or two after a long day at work and a difficult practice session, right?

The justification seems sound enough for him to shrug to himself as he carefully packs a small bowl and fishes around his nightstand for a lighter. A quick glance at his clock tells him that it’s already approaching midnight, but he pays little heed to it as he lights the bowl and takes a quick hit, settling onto his bed and heaving a lazy sigh. He watches the billow of smoke spill from his lips as he leans against his pillow, already bringing the lighter up to prepare another hit as he allows himself to relax.

It’s too late for Dan to go back out and get something to eat now that he can feel himself going up, but Dan’s content with just falling asleep like this. Another hit or two will distract him from his hunger until he turns in for the night…

...Or it’ll make things worse, if he’s not careful. He resigns himself to finishing off the bowl and calling it quits for the night, and without much thought he goes to brush his teeth and wash his face before wandering back into his room and drifting off to sleep.

\--/--/--

Dan doesn’t really find himself doing much the next day, but he appreciates the slow pace of not having any real obligations on a Sunday.

He spends the morning sifting through some laundry and washing dishes, since most of his roommates have cleared out for social outings or other obligations. His bong finds its way back into his hands before noon rolls around, and two sizable bowls leave Dan prostrate on the couch wandering aimlessly around in Morrowind for a few hours. By the time he’s come back down and scraped together a meal mostly comprised of leftovers, the afternoon has decided to quietly roll in, and he only has an hour or so until Alex is supposed to pick him up.

It’s unfortunate that he’d come back down already (the tree he has right now isn't very strong), because as soon as he steps into the shower, his thoughts decide to drift back to Y/N.

“You’d think that being busy and stoned as shit for the past 24 hours would be enough to keep a guy off your mind,” Dan mutters to himself as he waits for the water to warm up.

The thoughts are just as unwanted as they had been the night before, in the immediate aftermath of their… spat.

He thinks of the way Y/N’s eyes crinkle when he smiles, the way his nose had scrunched up when Dan flicked a few drops of water into his eyes during their shower. The giddiness he’d felt while they fucked around and simply laughed at each other was intoxicating and calming all at once, something that he’s desperately craved ever since his breakup with his last girlfriend.

The fact that it had come so easily with Y/N is something that Dan’s not quite ready to examine very closely.

He’s not sure what he’d find if he really took the time to look into himself and figure out what it might imply.

He’s not sure whether or not he’d like what he found if he did.

Dan tests the water with one hand and finally deems it warm enough for him to step underneath the spray of the shower- nearly enough to burn his skin, the dull sting of it hitting making quick work of trying to relax his muscles and set his mind at ease.

It doesn’t actually do much in the way of quieting the noise rattling around in his head, but Dan still finds himself settling into the heat of the water with a contented sigh, making quick work of ducking his head forward to get his hair wet.

He’s pretty sure that he’s going to need to wash his hair again soon, if the first signs of grease and grime sliding across his palms as he combs his fingers through it is any indication.

He tries not to focus on the fact his hair still smells a little sweet, some kind of honey and coconut mix that made him feel more clean and refreshed than he had in awhile tinged with the headiness of when he’d smoked earlier.

 _Can you just shut the fuck up for two seconds and let me shower in peace?_ Dan thinks angrily to himself as he grabs his shampoo. It takes a bit of fumbling to avoid knocking over the other bottles littered across the edge of the shower, and when he lathers the shampoo and begins to massage it into his scalp, he allows another sigh to tumble from his lips. The scent of cucumber from Dollar Tree White Rain shampoo isn’t as satisfying as the honey and coconut, but it does its job well enough and starts to settle his nerves.

He stays in the shower longer than intended, but it’s oddly satisfying to scrub away the dirt and sparse amount of sweat from his body with a little more force than necessary under the hot water to watch his chest and hands turn pink, to let it wash over him in a curtain shaped by the mop of hair dangling in front of his face. He feels refreshed when he finally steps out, and when Dan checks the clock on his nightstand he sees that he still has another half hour until Alex arrives.

It wouldn’t hurt to smoke another bowl or two before going to the party, right?

It doesn’t take Dan too long to clean out his bong and pack a fresh bowl into it with practiced ease, and he finally finds himself relaxing down to his bones as the familiar scent of weed washes over him with each cloud of smoke that pours from his lips. Just as he finishes off the bowl, his phone rings from his nightstand, and he answers it with a grin.

“Yo, Daniel, I’m on my way. Be ready in 10,” Alex’s voice floats through the speaker, and Dan nods.

“Got it. Did you pick anyone else up or do I get shotgun?”

“It’s your lucky day. You get to sit up front like a big boy.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.” Alex makes a vague noise of affirmation before hanging up, and Dan sets to packing himself a second, smaller bowl to burn through while he waits.

\--/--/--

When Dan slides into the passenger seat of Alex’s car, Alex scrunches his nose up and makes a show of pretending to gag.

“Jesus Christ, dude, did you even take a shower? You fucking _reek_ right now,” he says, and Dan shrugs.

“Of course I showered. I guess I just forgot to put on some cologne or something to counteract the smell,” he replies. “There’s gonna be people smoking and shit at this party anyway, right?” Alex glances at him from the corner of his eye as he pulls out onto the road, then shakes his head.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m gonna have to get an air freshener for my car now, though. You owe me for that.”

“No problem, man. I’ll get you lunch or something, your pick.”

The rest of the drive is relatively quiet save for the hum of the radio- Alex had put in one of his Rush CDs, and Dan taps his foot idly to the beat of the song playing. It isn’t too long before they pull up to the house where the party is being held, and when they walk up to the doorstep, Alex nudges Dan’s shoulder with a pointed stare.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?” Dan asks.

“No, it’s not that. Just… be careful tonight, okay? I know you’re kinda going through some shit right now, but if I have to lug you to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning then that’ll put a damper on both of our nights.”

“Aw, you really _do_ care about me,” Dan sighs, and he claps a hand on Alex’s back. “Don’t worry, man, I’ll be fine. You know I always am.”

“If you say so.” Alex leans forward to knock on the door, and Dan doesn’t recognize the person that answers, but he doesn't pay it much heed. He’s gone to plenty of parties before held by people whose names he barely knows- not that he can remember them at all by the end of the night, anyway.

They’re ushered inside and directed immediately to the kitchen, where Dan easily accepts what appears to be a cup of punch that’s most likely spiked. He mingles as he takes sips from the cup, and as the night goes on he finds that his cup is never empty for long before it’s refilled, and his vision is becoming more and more unsteady as the alcohol hums through his veins, begins to burn his throat a little the more with every helping he tosses back.

At some point a pretty redhead approaches Dan and strikes up a conversation with him, all smiles and friendliness as he flirts back, basks in the way her lipstick and nails match her hair, how she becomes more… bold, skirting light touches up and down his arm and her smile becoming more wolfish when she catches the way he shivers at the contact.

It doesn’t take long for the redhead- Amy, he thinks her name is- to take his hand and guide him away from the other partygoers, and then they’re in an empty bedroom, and she’s kissing him hungrily as he’s pressed against the door.

The taste of her lips is sweet, warm and sugary as she giggles into his mouth and skirts her hands down his chest. He lets himself get swept up in the sensation as her hands travel lower, lower, until they’re toying with the hem of his shirt and tugging it gently up so she can tease the vee of his hips.

Dan is nothing but the warmth of skin on skin right now, shuddering when her nails scrape gently across his navel and make quick work of tugging his shirt off and tossing it somewhere to the side.

“Want me to suck you off, baby?” She breathes into his ear, and Dan shudders again. He catches her lips in another kiss, languid and deep as her hands wander down to toy with the buckle of his belt.

She’s beautiful and intoxicating, knows how to push Dan’s buttons and make the warmth in his belly from the alcohol and weed burn hotter with arousal as she catches his bottom lip between her teeth for a moment before pulling away.

The sensations are almost overwhelming, and then they _are_ overwhelming, as Dan suddenly becomes aware of the cool air against his bare chest, of the woman’s hands skirting across his stomach, waiting for an answer. The back of his neck is prickling at the feeling of his hair brushing against it, and the muffled sound of the music on the other side of the door is pounding in his ears, and his vision is starting to get a little blurry, and, and…

Dan gently pushes the woman away with a shake of his head, and it isn’t until now that he notices that his hands are shaking.

“I’m sorry, I can’t- I don’t-” Dan shakes his head again, but that just makes his vision spin faster, makes his stomach churn uncomfortably. “I might have had too much to drink. Look, you’re really pretty and all, but I also don’t- don’t want to throw up on you or something. I need some time alone to cool off.”

The girl retracts her hands from his belt as though she’s been burned, and she’s raising them with wide eyes.

“I would rather you _not_ throw up on me while I’m sucking your dick, so I’ll leave you alone, I guess,” she mutters, and then she’s brushing past him to open the door and make a brisk exit from the room.

Dan takes a moment slumped against the door after it shuts behind him to catch his breath, pressing a hand to his chest. It takes longer than he would’ve liked for his heart to stop racing and vision to stop spinning, but he still feels nauseous and lightheaded, unsteady on his feet. He stumbles forward and collapses face down on the bed with a groan.

“Way to fucking go, Avidan,” he mumbles into the comforter. “Only a real Casanova would have a fucking panic attack and almost throw up on a pretty girl right after she offered to suck your fucking dick.”

Dan fumbles for a moment to reach into his pocket as he rolls over onto his back and pulls out his phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen and carefully scrolling through his contacts to call Alex.

The phone rings once, twice, and thankfully he answers on the third ring.

“Dan? Why are you calling me? Are you still in the house?” Alex’s voice floats through on the other end of the line in a rushed tone, and Dan sighs.

“Yeah, I’m still in the house,” he replies. “I think I’m in the master bedroom. Just… Can you take me home, please?”

“Of course, dude. I’ll be there in a sec.”

Once Dan ends the call, he tosses his phone to the side and covers his face with both hands, his stomach lurching as colors and shapes blur and spin behind his eyelids.

“Fucking idiot,” he mumbles.

It seems like he’s been making a _lot_ of stupid mistakes one after the other over the past couple of days.

Leave it to him to make everything progressively worse for himself in no time flat.

Maybe it’s some kind of self imposed punishment for being an idiot.

Maybe he deserves it.

A knock on the door snaps Dan out of his thoughts, and he raises his head toward it with a groan.

“Alex? Is that you?” he croaks.

“Yeah, it’s me. Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Alex slowly opens the door and peeks his head in, eyes landing on Dan sprawled out on the bed and crinkling up in a frown.

“Jesus, dude, you look like you’re gonna vomit. Are you okay?”

“Not really, no,” Dan replies. He shakily eases himself into a sitting position and leans heavily on one side, scrubbing a hand roughly over his face. “Everything is awful and I kind of want to just pass out in the comfort of my own home.”

“Alright, let’s get you out of here, then. Come on, get up.” Alex hooks an arm around Dan’s middle and helps him rise from the bed, and Dan can’t really focus on much besides the heavy fall of his steps on the ground, only looking up again when Alex is helping him into the passenger seat.

The ride home is silent save for Dan’s labored breathing, and Alex walks him up to his doorstep when they arrive.

“Make sure to pop some Advil before you pass out,” Alex murmurs. Dan only pauses for a moment to fish out his keys before offering a small nod.

“Got it. Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem, man. I wouldn’t leave you stranded out there like that. Call me in the morning so I know you didn’t choke on your own vomit in your sleep.” Dan only rolls his eyes as he unlocks the door, and Alex waves him goodnight before heading back to his car.

Once he’s inside, Dan takes two tablets of Advil to hopefully stem the awful hangover he’s sure to be stuck with tomorrow; without any further thought, he tosses himself onto his bed and promptly passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck is UP y'all I'm here with a brand spankin' new chapter for your reading pleasure 
> 
> I'm not going to let this story die and I plan on finishing it Eventually so if you stick along for the ride then I love you Very Much


	7. Let Me Sharpen All Your Swords

_So listen up, the sun hasn't set_   
_I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling_   
_Just hear me out, I'm not over you yet_ _  
It's love on the line, can you handle it?_

_Hear Me Out- Frou Frou._

\--/--/--

You don’t hear from Dan for three weeks.

Normally that wouldn’t be something for you to worry about- it’s not uncommon for you to not hear from some friends or family for extended periods of time because of something or another coming up out of nowhere.

Life happens. No big deal.

...Normally it _wouldn’t_ be a big deal.

So it isn’t.

You fall back into your normal routine before long. Work seems to pass by in a blur; a monotonous schedule, menial labor, coming back home exhausted and heating up leftovers for dinner. Predictable days followed by predictable nights- the way things were before.

It’s nigh impossible to keep Dan out of your thoughts during this time.

On one hand, you know you did the right thing. You stood your ground. You made your feelings clear.

And after all of that, Dan had more or less confirmed your worst fears.

The last thing you wanted was to be someone’s… _plaything_ while they planned on leaving without a second thought as soon as they decided that they were done fooling around.

You’re not exactly in the mood for jumping from date to date like they don’t mean anything. That’s not what you’d gone into this… _thing_ with Dan for

You’d gone into it because you were _interested_ in him; you enjoyed his company, enjoyed the dates you’d been on together, enjoyed the natural chemistry that came with getting to know him. It was a nice change of pace after your last boyfriend had left you.

Your breakup with your last ex had been… less than friendly, to say the least. While one would _think_ that a nasty breakup would be the perfect reason to date with no strings attached- the "perfect" way to get your mind off of your ex- you’ve always been more the romantic type. You’d gone into that relationship with long-term intent, and you _were_ under the impression that your ex wanted the same, especially after he’d moved in all those months ago, after nearly five years of dating.

Suffice to say that you’d been pretty heartbroken when he up and left without much warning.

A majority of the time after the breakup had been spent playing video games, forcing yourself to get out with your friends as much as possible, and throwing yourself into work with a vigor that you hadn’t been able to maintain since your first day there. Distractions. Trying to combat against the crippling loss of such a long standing relationship that you’d poured your heart and soul into.

And with enough time and effort, things were on the way to going back to normal before long. The nights spent alone in bed didn't hurt as much anymore, and your laughter when spending time with friends was more genuine, more unbothered. More carefree.

Of _course_ a wrench had to be thrown into your road to recovery on that fateful night nearly six months later by going to a concert at a bar barely large enough to fit a hundred people on an impulsive whim, less than a week after your first anniversary without your ex.

How could you _not_ get enthralled with Dan when watching him perform? His connection to the music was infectious, something that made you stop in your tracks and pulled you to keep your attention to the stage, to hang onto every note, your heart beating a little faster with every sweet siren melody that poured from his lips.

It was that intoxicating energy that had drawn you to him, something heady and all-consuming in a way that you hadn’t experienced in a long time. And somehow, against all odds, you’d managed to catch his attention in turn, managed to draw him in just as he had to you on stage.

The last thing you’d expected to happen was to start dating said singer and sleep with him over the course of an exciting, whirlwind month that completely changed your life.

At least you _thought_ you were going to end up dating. Was that really so much of a jump to make, after everything you’d done together?

You suppose it was, now that three weeks had come and gone without a word from Dan.

...You thought that things would have been different this time.

Despite your conflicting feelings towards Dan, you can’t help but remember the way he threw his head back when he laughed, honey bronze curls framing his face as he smiled so brightly you were sure you’d gone blind. You remember the way his fingertips felt tracing patterns across your arms as you lay in bed together, how warm and kind and inviting he’d been. You remember the way his lips felt against yours, soft and sweet and overwhelming in the best ways. Filling you up, up, up, until you felt like you were going to burst, the sudden infatuation so potent that it had nearly taken your breath away in the midst of it all.

It’s frustrating to think about these things- to feel so deeply for someone you’ve known for such a short time.

So you throw yourself into everything else to try and distance yourself from these thoughts. To try and make it all go away so you can move on with your life. Refusing to let them take over your life, like some kind of lovesick teenager.

You scroll down to Dan’s contact in your phone sometimes. The urges lay bare every single time.

_Maybe I should call him and talk things out._

_Maybe I should delete his number._

_Whatever it is that he’s got going on, he needs to figure this out for himself._

If he decides that he’s done playing around and wants to contact you, then great.

If not, then you aren’t going to wait around for him to change his mind.

So every single time you shove your phone away, and you force yourself to think of anything but bright hazel eyes reflecting gold in the early hours of dawn, and you hope that it will just all go away soon.

\--/--/--

It takes a week and a half for any of your friends to notice that something is amiss.

You’re out for dinner with your close friends, Tris and Jay, chatting away as you wait for your meals, and Tris seems to be shooting furtive glances at you every so often.

“So how are things on your end, Y/N?” Tris asks. “You seem kind of quiet.” You put your drink down and shrug, unable to really muster up enough energy to care about trying to fake it.

“To be honest, I’m kinda going through some relationship troubles,” you admit. “It’s affecting me more than I thought it would, so I’ve just been in a funk lately.”

“Relationship troubles? You never told us that you’ve been seeing someone!” Jay exclaims. You clear your throat and glance away for a moment in embarrassment.

“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning since we haven’t known each other for that long. We’re not really _dating,_ either, so…” You attempt an air of nonchalance, but it falls horrifically flat as your friends’ faces fall in understanding.

“How long have you known him?” Tris asks.

“Probably about a month and a half?”

“Okay, Y/N, it’s time for you to spill. You can’t just leave us in the dark like this,” Jay adds. “ _Especially_ if you’re in a funk because of him. Do I need to go have a few words with this guy?”

“No, you don’t have to do anything like that,” you chuckle. “But since you asked so nicely, I’ll fill you in on what’s been going on in my super exciting love life.”

“Please do!” Tris takes a sip of his drink before setting his glass down. “The fact that you didn’t tell us anything sooner is honestly an affront against our friendship. You’ve been holding out on us.”

“It’s not a very long story. I met this guy at a concert, we’ve been on a few dates and fooled around a bit, he’s spent the night a few times, and then he decided that he didn’t want to get into a real relationship.” Jay rolls his eyes and idly pokes at his food with his fork.

“Oh, fun stuff. Sounds like a real charmer,” he says.

“He was at least a _little_ charming,” you say. With a quick glance around to make sure no one’s listening, you lean in closer so Tris and Jay can hear you. “When I say that we fooled around a bit, I mean that he, like, nearly let me fuck his face. It was… kind of intense. Not the kind of stuff I would just spring on a random hookup.”

“Woah, that is _way_ too much information that I did not need to know about,” Jay leans back and wrinkles his nose. “I’m gonna pretend that I didn’t hear that.”

“I second that notion,” Tris says. “So you thought things were on the way to getting more serious at some point, and he just bailed?” You nod with a bit of a frown as you idly sip at your drink. You haven’t touched it much since you’d gotten to the restaurant, and the ice is beginning to water it down.

“I think that’s enough grounds for you to not really give him another chance with this, then.” Tris hums in agreement as he takes a bite of his food. “You don’t usually crash at someone’s place after sucking their dick and going on a few dates and then just _leave_ like that.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was sort of thinking,” you sigh. “It’s just a little hard to just drop him like that, you know? It might take me awhile to shake this off. I really thought that there might’ve been something more going on besides him wanting to be a fuck buddy because he didn’t want to commit.”

“Fuck that guy, then,” Tris deadpans. “If he’s going to string you along like that, then he doesn’t deserve your time. He’s already wasted enough of it over the past month.”

“I don’t know if he was exactly _wasting_ it, per say…” you shrug, but you can’t help the slight warble of embarrassment that seeps into your tone. “I enjoyed his company, he enjoyed mine, and we were getting to know each other decently well. Him deciding that he didn’t want to go any further than that was kind of a slap in the face, after all of that.”

“That’s even worse!” Jay slaps his hand against the table, and your glasses rattle with the force of it, but they don’t fall over, thank god. “Jesus Christ, Y/N. Please try to restrain yourself if he decides to call you up again. Just because he’s got a pretty face and sucks good dick _doesn’t_ mean that he’s worth the emotional labor.”

“I know, I know.” You sigh and look down at your food with a frown and pick up your fork. “Now that I’ve caught you up to speed with that mess, can we just get back to eating our delicious meals before our food gets cold?”

“Alright, we’ll leave you alone about it for now,” Tris promises. “If anything else comes up, though, please tell us this time. We want to be there to support you if you make any dumb mistakes.”

“Thanks, guys.” You smile dryly at them and raise your fork in a silent salute before you get back to your meals.

You know that they’re making good points. You also know that they’re biased towards you and would be more likely to take your side on it regardless, but at least there’s _some_ merit to what they’re saying. You just hope that you have it in you to actually follow through with your decision to let your ties with Dan stay cut.

And so your routine begins to come back a little bit easier, and you find yourself spending a little less time dreaming about a laugh like the sun that makes your heartbeat a little bit faster.

\--/--/--

You’re doing laundry on a Sunday when your phone rings.

Upon checking the caller ID on your screen, you see that it’s…

...it’s Dan.

_It’s Dan._

You scramble to answer it before you accidentally let it go to voicemail with trembling hands, half folded laundry immediately forgotten in favor of making sure you’re keeping your heart rate in check.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi, Y/N. It's… it's Dan.” And just hearing his voice again after nearly a month of silence is enough to reignite all of the reasons why you stopped talking to him in the first place in one dizzying wave- Dan’s intent to experiment with another guy for the first time, his resignation to move on as soon as he got too scared to delve into anything deeper, how easily he just walked away when you confronted him about it.

 _Coward_.

Your mood sours quicker than you thought it would at the flood of memories, and you grip the phone tighter in your hand.

“...Oh. Hey.” You’re almost kind of glad that your mind had brought your trepidations back to the surface, reminded you that just because you missed him doesn’t mean that what he did was fair. The other end of the line is silent for a moment, and then you hear Dan take a small, steadying breath.

“Listen, I was just calling to see if you had any free time this week. It's been awhile since we've been able to meet up.” Your face is immediately falling at his words- _are you fucking kidding me right now?-_ and you scowl down at the floor.

“I mean, yeah. I think there's a reason as to why that is,” you snap. “Is that all you were calling for?”

...Okay, that was a little harsh, but you’re angry right now. You have good reason to be.

“As a matter of fact, no, it wasn't,” Dan says, and his voice has gone a bit softer. “I’m asking because I was hoping you'd say yes. We... we need to talk. About us, I mean."

“I thought we already did that.” Your foot is tapping on the floor, and you’re trying not to pace around your bedroom in agitation.

You’re starting to regret answering, now.

“You know what I meant, Y/N,” Dan retorts. “Listen, I… I'm sorry, okay? I know I fucked up and I want to work things out. I want to talk about this in person. Please don't shut me out so quickly and give me a chance to explain myself, at least?”

...oh.

It takes a moment for the anger to start subsiding (albeit very slowly), and as it does, you realize that you’ve probably been overreacting to the whole conversation, just a tiny bit.

He contacted you again.

He’s apologizing.

He wants to meet up and talk about it in person, instead of over the phone.

_He's apologizing._

“...Sorry, that was harsher than I meant for it to be,” you finally sigh. “It's just… you understand why I’m not exactly happy to hear from you after everything that happened, right?”

“Yeah, I understand,” Dan mumbles. “I’m sorry I bothered you about this. I kind of knew it would be a bit of a long-shot to expect you to just… give me another chance that easily.”

“Oh, don't be sorry, Dan,” you say. “I should be the one apologizing. I’m actually being pretty rude right now. That one's on me.” Dan chuckles at that, and your heart flutters against your rib cage at that, against your better wishes.

“I can kinda get why, though,” Dan replies. “But I _do_ want to see you so we can properly talk about all of this in person. Just… please?”

You bite your lip as you look up at the ceiling, somehow hoping that it can provide some kind of answer for you.

He’s asking for another chance. He’s apologizing.

He’s trying to work things out with you.

You can almost hear Tris and Jay yelling at you.

“...Okay, fine. I'll meet up with you somewhere and we can talk about things. I'm, uh…” You turn to begin rummaging through your laundry in a mad attempt at finding your phone. You quickly abandon the task and run to the kitchen to check your calendar. “I should be free on… Thursday night. I get off of work early that day and should be back home by 3:30.” You hear Dan let out a small sigh from the other end of the line, clearly relieved.

“Okay, yeah. Yeah, that works for me. Can I swing by your place at 3:45, then?”

“Sure.”

“...Hey, Y/N?” Dan’s voice has gone quiet. Hesitant. “I just, uh… thank you. I know that I probably don’t deserve to be able to try and explain myself. So thank you for this.”

You run a hand through your hair as you wander back into the living room and plop down onto the couch. “I… yeah. Yeah, of course.” You're not sure what else to say at this point. It seems as though Dan's in a similar position, judging by the silence from the other end of the line.

“See you Thursday, then?”

“See you Thursday.”

You’re not sure how to feel about the whole thing after you hang up.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Boy Oh Boy


	8. Let It Go (All The Days You Wasted)

_But we lose our chance when we don’t try_

_On second thought, yeah, I think I might_

_Kiss The Boy - Keiynan Lonsdale._

\--/--/--

Waiting for Thursday to come is more stressful than you imagined it would be.

Over the next few days you can't help but let your thoughts wander back to Dan again. How quiet he’d sounded over the phone. How tired. While the exhaustion could have been attributed to something like an illness or even a hangover, you have a feeling that a certain elephant in the room is more likely to be the cause.

On Tuesday night you call Tris to tell him about Dan, and it goes just as well as you'd expected it to go.

“What do you mean, you're going to see him again? I thought you were done with this whole mess!”

“I know I _said_ I was done, but, like… I have a feeling this won't be that bad,” you say.

“Oh really now? And what makes you say that, Mr. I’ll Get Over It, We Weren't Even That Serious?” Tris retorts. You feel your face flush a bit at that.

“I know it sounds kinda dumb, but this feels _different_. He's not being presumptuous about it. He's not asking for me to just up and forgive him. He's not asking for me to just pretend like it never happened."

“What is it that he's asking for, then?” Tris sounds more than a little suspicious now, but you don’t blame him for being critical of the whole thing- he has plenty of reason to be, considering the circumstances. You shrug even though you know he can't see it.

“All he’s asking for is a chance to explain himself.” The line is silent for a moment. “That's more than what can be said for… y'know.”

“That piece of shit didn’t deserve a chance to “explain himself” to begin with and you know it,” Tris snaps. “But I see your point. Kind of.”

“Only kind of?”

“Yes, only kind of. I still think you’re being stupid for agreeing to this in the first place, but if you’re absolutely sure you want to go through with it, I can’t really stop you,” Tris sighs. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, okay? He’s not worth that.”

“I know, I know,” you reply. “I’ll be careful, I promise. Just… I’ll let you know how it goes afterwards, okay?”

“Is that your way of telling me that you won’t be in contact again until after Thursday?”

“Maybe it is,” you laugh. “I know that if I don’t warn you now, you’ll try to subtly bug me about it over a nice “friendly” cup of coffee.”

“The fact that you apparently don’t trust my completely ulterior motive-free proposals of a coffee date is honestly kind of insulting, but I’ll let it slide this time. Take care of yourself, yeah?”

“I will as long as you do the same.” Tris barks out a short laugh.

“Damn, you got me. Fine, I’ll try to take it easy for your sake. I might call you up for lunch or something on Friday, though, so don’t try to weasel your way out of spending quality time with one of your best friends,” he teases.

“If I weasel my way out of anything it’ll be for legitimate reasons, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. I totally believe you.” You shake your head with a smile as you hang up, feeling just a little bit better about the whole thing. Knowing that you’ve got a good support system is comforting, in a way. You know that if it ends badly, and you end up more hurt than you had been to begin with, they’d help you find a way to get back up and move on with your life.

You can only hope that it doesn’t end badly.

\--/--/--

When Thursday finally arrives, you’re restless.

The entire time you’re at work, your thoughts wander, and you have trouble concentrating. Thankfully your coworkers aren’t irritated at you for being less productive than usual, and you’ve never felt more relieved to clock out by the time the afternoon rolls around.

Your drive home is filled with one of your favorite CDs playing softly from the radio and a myriad of thoughts swirling in your head. They all dart back and forth between the different ways the conversation with Dan might go- the anxiety that sits at the pit of your gut like a heavy weight is all too helpful in focusing mainly on the more negative outcomes, though.

You have no clue. You have no clue how it could go, and no idea of what he might say, and no idea of whether or not you’ll even want to hear what he has to say in the first place. There are just too many possibilities.

This whole thing would’ve been so much easier if you’d just kept your fucking mouth shut.

 _It needed to be done_ , you hastily remind yourself. Because it did. You only would have been more upset if things had gone on any longer than it had- if you’d begun harboring deeper feelings for Dan, simmering just underneath the surface, only to find out one day that he didn’t feel the same. That he didn’t want what you wanted.

It’s good that it happened now. It’s good that you got your feelings out. It’s good that you made your intentions clear.

It didn’t exactly feel _good_ when it happened, per say, but at least you’d gotten your message across. Whatever Dan decides to do with it is out of your control.

You’re both a little more sure of yourself and more terrified than ever by the time you’re pulling into the driveway, so you make a beeline for the kitchen once you’re inside to get something small to snack on while you wait for Dan to come over. It’s something to focus on- something to ground you to quell the growing tide of your own anxiety.

It feels like 3:45 has come all too quickly when you hear a quiet knock at your door.

You curse under your breath as you smooth down the front of your shirt and run a quick hand through your hair to make sure it’s not too messed up before rushing to answer it.

And suddenly Dan’s right there, right in front of you. His head jerks up, startled at the sudden motion of you opening the door.

“...Hey.”

It’s almost strange to be face to face with Dan now. He looks just about as awkward as you feel- he’s standing on your doorstep with his hands shoved into his pockets, slouching a bit as he shifts his weight back and forth, and he makes only fleeting eye contact.

Okay. This is it.

You take a deep breath to steel yourself before stepping back a bit to let Dan inside with a curt nod. He hesitates for a moment before making his way into the living room, and he sits almost gingerly on the couch.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks, I’m fine.” His voice is quiet. You slowly move into the living room to join him and take a seat at the other end of the couch.

It's painfully silent. You're not particularly eager to be the one who breaks the silence, and it's clear that Dan isn't either, based on the way he's crossing his arms over his chest and deliberately avoiding eye contact.

You’re not surprised. You could tell it was going to be stilted and uncomfortable the moment you'd hung up after your brief phone conversation on Sunday. Dan is tapping his foot rapidly against the floor, deafeningly loud, as he seemingly fights the urge to speak first.

“Tell me what's going on.”

“I'm sorry.”

You have to take a moment to process his words as you both finally break the silence at the same time, words tripping over one another in their rush to fill the empty space. You frown a bit and turn to face Dan more fully.

“You're sorry.” You’ve already heard this. You’re getting tired of hearing it- a broken record at this point. You can’t quite find it in yourself to be more welcoming at the moment. Dan at least has the decency to look embarrassed. He begins tugging at the loose threads on the knees of his jeans and shrugs.

“I mean, yeah. Of course I am. I have a lot to be sorry for,” he murmurs. “I know I'm lucky that you let me come over in the first place.”

“Well, you're right about that, at least.” You let out a heavy sigh. “I don't want apologies anymore, though. I just want you to be honest with me. Please.” Dan finally looks up at you, and there's apprehension in his eyes. “Tell me what happened. I want… I want to know when we stopped being on the same page in regards to us being involved. Because I stopped thinking that this was just going to stay a casual thing, and you… didn't, I suppose.” You can't help the tinge of hurt that seeps into your tone. Dan bites his lip.

“Yeah, I figured that's sort of where this discussion would go,” he says. “I… there's a bit that I kind of want to explain. I want to get everything out so you know where I'm at. With all of this.” He makes a vague hand gesture between the two of you, then sighs as he settles more fully into the couch. He's starting to look more resigned than nervous now.

“Okay. By all means, please, go ahead,” you say. Dan seems to contemplate what he's going to say for a few moments before he actually begins to speak.

“I… if I’m going to be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure what I wanted out of this- out of this relationship. I’m not sure what I wanted, and I was starting to feel kind of overwhelmed, and I didn’t know what to do with it all, especially after you brought it up again. At first I thought it was all going to stay casual and it would be _fine_ , but then…”

“But then…?”

“But then I… I realized that I was starting to feel something that was _more_ than just casual attraction, and in all honesty, it kind of fucking scared me.” Dan lets out a small, shaky laugh and runs a hand through his hair.

“If I was pushing you into anything too fast, then I would’ve liked for you to tell me about it,” you murmur.

“It's not that I felt like you were pushing me into something that I wasn't ready for.” Dan looks down at his hands for a moment and shrugs. “I just sort of realized that I was pushing _myself_ into all of this, even though I don't really know what I'm doing. Did I ever tell you that I only recently lost my virginity less than a year ago?”

“Wait, what?” You freeze in shock and attempt to catch his eye, but Dan’s face is turning pink and he’s curling a little further into himself. “Are you serious?”

“...Yeah. With one of my good friends. I was comfortable with her and I trusted her, so I wasn't scared.” This time his eyes flit up to meet yours for a brief moment before darting back down again. “Not… not like I am now.”

“I'm… I’m sorry. I didn't know.” You’re at a loss for words. Dan waves a dismissive hand, though one arm is still curled protectively over himself.

“Don’t be. I didn't tell you about any of this.”

“So when we were…” You can't quite get the words out. _When we were sleeping together? Whenever you spent the night?_ Dan somehow seems to pick up on what you’re not saying, though, and he shakes his head.

“I don't regret it,” he murmurs. “I don't regret any of it. I just… I think I was pushing myself too far out of my comfort zone a little too fast.”

“I can understand that.” You scoot so that you’re sitting closer to Dan and put a careful hand on his shoulder. “Thanks for… thank you for telling me. About all of this.”

“I know that none of it excuses the way I just walked away like that,” he continues. “But at the very least I wanted you to know _why_ I left. Why I absolutely fucking regret leaving in the first place.” He leans into your touch with a sigh, and when your eyes meet again you see his apprehension fading into something like relief. Relief at being able to finally get the words out, perhaps.

“You know this all would have been so much easier if we’d just talked things out before,” you tease, and Dan’s laugh is a bit more lively now. More genuine.

“Yeah yeah, I know. I was an idiot, I deserve that.” He smiles softly at you, and it’s so warm and gentle that you can’t help but smile back. “You have no idea how grateful I am that you let me come over. I thought it might’ve been long enough that you wouldn’t want to hear from me anymore.”

“In all honesty, I was just about ready to stop waiting around to hear from you,” you admit. “I was really upset for a while there.” Dan’s smile drops a bit, and he nods.

“I know I keep saying it, but thank you for hearing me out despite that. And I’m sorry again for being such an idiot.” He gently takes your hand, and after a moment, he laces your fingers together. He bites his lip as his eyes meet yours. “And I know this might be a bit of a long shot, but… can we maybe try things again? But maybe with me being less of a jackass this time?”

“I… you know that we can’t pretend that none of this ever happened,” you say. “I can’t just pretend that you didn’t hurt me. That we stopped talking for an entire month.” Dan shakes his head.

“I mean, of course we can’t. It happened, and the dumb stuff I did has consequences, and it would be even more dumb of me to expect you to instantly forgive me.” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, seemingly pleased that you hadn’t retracted it. “But I think we could work through it. With time, of course. I… I really like you, and I don’t think I quite know what I want still, because it’s all still kind of scary to me, but I think I’m okay with that, because it’s a good kind of scary. I want to try and make this work.”

The earnest sincerity and hope in his words is so… touching. Comforting? Reassuring? You’re not sure. All you know is that this is all going so much better than you thought it would, and your hesitations are dwindling fast. It almost feels too good to be true- what did you do to deserve someone who so desperately wanted to make things right? Someone so willing to admit to his faults and accept that he might not be forgiven?

“I…” You bite your lip and look down at your hands clasped together. “I think… I think I want to try and make this work too.” Dan’s whole face lights up at that, and he squeezes your hand with a wide smile.

“I’m glad,” he breathes. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.”

“I think I might have some kind of idea,” you chuckle.

“Since we’re trying things again, then, I think I want to take it a little slower this time around,” Dan says. His smile turns a little bashful as he stares down at your hands as well. “If you’re okay with that.”

“Of course I’m okay with that, Danny. I would never want to make you uncomfortable or pressure you into something that’s outside of your comfort zone.”

“Okay. Okay, just making sure.” Dan looks up again, and he’s still smiling. He bites his lip and hesitates for a moment before leaning forward to give you a quick kiss, a brief press of his lips against yours, barely felt. He pulls away quickly with a slight blush, and it’s so endearing that you can’t help but gently tug him forward to give him a proper kiss in return.

The slide of his lips against your own is wonderfully familiar, something that you can now freely admit that you’ve sorely missed over the past month. You feel him smile against your lips as he lets out a surprised laugh, and when you pull away he’s positively beaming.

“So, I don’t know what your schedule is like, but do you maybe want to try a lunch date sometime next week?” he asks.

“I think that maybe I would.”

You still have a lot of progress to make with one another, but for right now, this is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of slow-going, but regardless of the amount of time that passes between each chapter, I do plan on seeing this story to the end. If you're sticking around for this then I love you. If you move on because it's taking Too Long then I understand and I also love you. If you're just now seeing this and strapping in for the ride as a new reader then I also love you. 
> 
> So with that being said, Let's fucken go Babey


End file.
